


The Lady of No Words, Book Two: Rhythm

by girlsinbikinis



Series: The Lady of No Words [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Mute OC, Mutual Pining, Sign Language, Spoilers, iroh/fei power duo, servant oc, theyre in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 28,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27231559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsinbikinis/pseuds/girlsinbikinis
Summary: The second installment of Fei's story
Relationships: Zuko (Avatar)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Lady of No Words [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902685
Comments: 9
Kudos: 74





	1. The Avatar State

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei makes a sacrifice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're seeing the lady of no words for the first time, go read book one!! on my profile rn

So, you’ve returned. I must admit, it brings me joy to see the youth want to hear about our heroine and her tale. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

The pink blossom twirls in Fei’s fingers as she absentmindedly twists it, watching Zuko brood. He wears his hat low over his face and lounges against the wall of the courtyard. 

“This is what I’ve been missing. Who knew floating on a piece of driftwood for three weeks with no food or water, and sea vultures waiting to pluck out your liver could make one so tense?” Iroh sighs from a massage table. Zuko doesn’t respond. “I see. It’s the anniversary, isn’t it?” He comes over to sit with the two. 

“Three years ago, today, I was banished. I lost it all.” Zuko looks at Fei and she shifts her eyes away quickly. “I want it back. I want my father to not think I’m worthless.” 

“I’m sure he doesn’t. Why would he banish you if he didn’t care?” Zuko frowns at his uncle’s words, pushing himself to his feet and walking away. 

“Uh, that came out wrong, didn’t it?” Iroh grimaces. The flower falls from Fei’s hand, fragile petals bruising as she steps on it. 

Zuko sits on the dock, looking out over the beach they had washed up on the day before. 

_“Hey.”_ Fei bumps her shoulder against his. Her legs swing over the water, making swirls in the air that she could twist in any way if she tried. He doesn’t say anything. 

_“You know he didn’t mean it that way.”_ The breeze carries the words to his ears, quiet and comforting. 

“He’s right. My father _does_ care about me. Just not in the right way.” 

_“Exactly. He’s a horr-”_

“Which is why I need to capture the Avatar. He cares that I am weak. I need to prove to him that I am strong.” 

Fei sighs, and can almost feel the curls of her breath become words as she bends. _“You are strong.”_

“Not enough for him. He still sees the _boy_ who was too scared to fight him.”

_“Is that why you didn’t fight? Because you were scared? Or because you stood up for what you believed in?”_

“Why are you here, Fei?” Zuko’s voice is tired. 

_“I… I don’t know.”_ The three weeks that they had spent at sea had come with welcome airbending practice, but being better at airbending came with using it to communicate more, which came with the thought she used to put behind her words disappearing. Fei begins to stand, but Zuko groans. 

“Wait, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” He says. She sits back down, giving him a small smile. 

_“You went through a lot, and your uncle knows that. He just… He never had a proper chance to be a father. When his son was your age, he…. Iroh’s really trying to do better by you. He just doesn’t know how.”_ They sit in silence, then Fei says, _“Three years… It’s hard to believe its been that long.”_

“I can believe it.” 

_“Well, you’ve probably been counting the days, right?”_ The wind is light and teasing. 

“I have.” 

_“Oh.” Makes sense,_ she thinks. _“I’m headed to the market, do you want to come?”_

“No.” Fei stands again and walks off, leaving the Prince to his woes. 

oOo

Fei returns to their rooms hours later. She hadn’t gone straight to the market, just walked around the town, wondering about her family. _Three years._

“Don’t interrupt, Uncle!” Fei thinks, at first, that she must be hallucinating. _Azula can’t be here._ She was supposed to be safe here. “I still haven’t heard my thank you. I’m not a messenger, I didn’t have to come all this way.” There’s no doubt this time. Fei knows the princess’s voice better than she knows her own, and it’s most definitely her.

“Father regrets? He… wants me back?” Fei’s not sure what to do. _I could run,_ a wild voice whispers, but then she remembers how she felt in the North Pole. _Don’t be foolish. You can’t run._ She reluctantly walks into the room, and Azula is quick to notice her. 

“Oh, look at you, little songbird. You got _pretty._ ” The princess’s voice is the same and yet so different than it was three years ago. Azula looks over at her brother. “Is this what it feels like to be a mother?” 

Fei calmly unpacks the crate of groceries, hiding the shaking of her hands. _“If it is, I’m never having children.”_ Zuko’s jaw clenches at her airbending, but Azula lets out a laugh- shrill and unnerving. 

“Oh, I know all about her airbending. I’d say a little birdie _told_ me, but that would just be cruel.” She pauses. “I can see you need time to take this in. I’ll come to call on you tomorrow. Good evening.” As the princess passes Fei, she murmurs, “If you even think of running, I’ll set the finest of the Fire Nation benders on you, with no mercy. I’ve even heard that your little sister’s shaping up to be quite a talented firebender. Funny how fate plays out, isn’t it?” With that, she’s out the door and fading into the night. 

Fei leans on the table, wiping a stray tear away with her arm, then asks, 

_“Are you going to go?”_ Even the wind is apprehensive. 

“Yes. We’re going home. After three long years, it’s unbelievable.” Zuko sounds so _happy,_ happier than he has in years. 

“It is unbelievable.” Iroh stares out the window as Zuko packs his things. “I have never known my brother to regret anything.” 

“Did you listen to Azula? Father’s realized how important family is to him! He cares about me!” 

“I care about you! And I think if Ozai wants you back, well, it may not be for the reasons you imagine.” Iroh’s voice is defensive.

“You don’t know how my father feels about me. You don’t know anything!” Zuko yells. 

“Zuko, I only know that, in our family, things are not always as they seem.” 

“I think that you are exactly as you seem. A lazy, mistrustful, shallow old man who’s always been jealous of his brother!” Zuko stalks off for the second time that day. Fei does not follow. 

“You didn’t say anything.” Iroh says, voice heavy. 

_“No, I didn’t.”_ Fei signs.

“Why not? Do you want to go back?” 

_“No, I… It’s selfish. I want him to be able to protect Sayuri. I feel like I forgot about her these past years.”_

“That’s not selfish at all.” Iroh walks up next to her and sets a hand on her shoulder. 

_“It is. Because I know you’re right. I know Lord Ozai only wants him back for political reasons. But, if I go back without a fuss, maybe they won’t hurt my family.”_

Iroh heaves a dep sigh, looking out the window. “You should get some rest. I’ll wait for my nephew.” Fei smiles at the old man. “Fei…” He says, slowly. “It’s a very brave thing you’re doing.” 

_“Thank you.”_

oOo

Zuko wakes up early. Fei suspects he always has, being a firebender, but it’s much more noticeable when they’re all sharing the same living space. 

She’s ready long before him. Her bag had been put in the trunk, and she puts her few belongings in it- the plant, protected by air, and the two serving dresses she had saved, one tattered from the North, the other clean and perfect. 

A petal from her lavender-crocus flower dances through the wind over her hand, diving and soaring with the smallest movement of her hands.

When he’s ready, they walk out the door quietly. The dawn is peaceful, leaving everything with a faint pink tinge. 

“Wait! Don’t leave without me!” Iroh rushes down the stars towards them. Zuko turns, grinning, and sets his pack down. 

“Uncle! You’ve changed your mind!” His voice is overjoyed. 

“Family sticks together, right?” _Family sticks together._ Fei’s mother’s face flashes in her mind. 

“We’re finally going home!” 

As they near Azula’s ship, Fei sets a hand on Zuko’s arm. 

_“Prince Zuko, can you promise me something?”_

“Of course. Anything.” 

_“Promise me that you’ll protect my family. Say they didn’t know I was an airbender. They’re innocent. Please.”_

“Yes, Fei. I’ll do it. I’d do- I’ll do it.” His cheeks flush, and they emerge onto the beach. 

Fei holds her wrists out to the guard who approaches her. He puts the same gold cuffs on her that Zhao did, heavy ones that stop her bending. As he leads her forward, Fei looks over her shoulder at her Prince and smiles.

She looks down at her cuffs once she’s on the deck. They guard attaches them to a chain, so that even if she did want to run, it would be impossible. 

“Brother! Uncle! I’m so glad you decided to come!” Azula calls. Fei moves her hands, watching the gold shift against her skin. One of them slides up to the first knuckle on her thumb.

“Are we ready to depart, Your Highness?” The captain asks. Fei looks around to see if any of the gathered guards noticed, but none did. She tests the other wrist. Same results. _The cuffs are lying next to her, looking intact. She gives them a puzzled look before_ _shaking her head and hurrying off._

“Set our course for home, captain.” Azula _says sweetly. These gold cuffs don’t fit. I can take them off._

“You heard the princess! Raise the anchors! We’re taking these prisoners home!” Fei’s head snaps up to look at Zuko. 

“Your Highness, I-”. The captain looks up at Azula nervously. There’s a moment of silence, then Iroh attacks the gathered soldiers. Fei slips the cuffs off and clicks high, mimicking a movement she had seen Zuko do hundreds of ties. Light comes out of her movement along with air, knocking he men over and blinding the ones who stay standing. More try to attack her, and she ducks their attacks. 

“You lied to me!” Zuko cries. Fei looks over her shoulder at him but turns back when one of the soldiers she knocked over comes towards her. Caught off guard, she pushes her arm out to deflect his blast. A spray of what look like darts _\- darts?-_ made of light. sprays out from her palm, making the man cry out a double over. 

“Like I’ve never done that before.” Azula turns to Fei. “I won’t let you get away.” Her fire is blue, and _she’s burning she’s screaming she’s_ Fei bites hard on the inside of her cheek, preventing the memories from eating her up. 

_I can’t beat her,_ Fei realizes. Rather than fight the princess, Fei flips over the edge of the boat. She lands, hard, on a bubble of air that was bent just in time. 

“Zuko, let’s go!” Iroh calls. Fei looks back up to see Zuko advancing on his sister. He doesn’t listen, pressing forward on his attack. Fei joins Iroh fighting off a group of guards, copying his movements. More times than not, light would come from her palms, but it worked fine. 

“You know, Father blames Uncle for the failure at the North Pole. And he considers you a failure for not finding the AVatar. Why would he want you back, except to lock you up where you can no longer embarrass him?” Fei tunes out the sibling’s fight, watching only the soldiers attacking her. She conjures two blades, not sure what she’s doing, and realizes as she blocks a blow that they are made of light. 

Her attackers pause, unsure what they’re seeing, and Fei arcs the left blade sideways, knocking them back with a gust of wind. A splash comes from the side of the ship. Fei looks up to see Zuko running down the ramp towards her. Iroh’s with him, obviously having left her side at some point, though Fei doesn’t know when. 

They take off, running through the woods. 

“I think we’re safe here.” Iroh finally says after they stumble to a stop near a river. Zuko and Iroh fall to the ground as Fei doubles over, trying to get air past her burning throat. 

Zuko pulls out a small dagger, but Fei’s not paying attention. She looks at her hands- still trembling from the run. Fei closes her hand, as if she’s holding a sword. One grows, made of light. She grins at the blade, shrinking it to a dagger, then puts it out with a wave. She doesn’t notice the eyes watching from the brush. 

_In the Spirit World, two women look on._

_“She didn’t go with Avatar Aang.” The woman with the tattoos is concerned._

_“She did not.”_

_“There was a moment where I thought she might… We’ll just have to prepare her.”_

_“That’s all we can do, isn’t it?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok back to numbering the notes cause i have a lot to get through  
> 1- she's back baby!!  
> 2- chapter titles are just the episode titles bc it's easier for me to keep track that way  
> 3- switched to fridays bc of school  
> 4-i do research but i'm not from any of the places atla is based on so while i'm trying to make it as accurate as possible, it's not perfect so call me out if something's unrealistic!! other then the fact that this story is about a magic girl who can control air  
> 5- instagram: @_girls.in.bikinis_ tumblr- @girls-inbikinis (revamped from when i was like twelve, don't scroll too far back)  
> 6- comments and kudos keep me motivated!!  
> 7- drink some water and take your meds!!


	2. The Cave of Two Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei washes dishes

Fei was not prepared to live out of the woods. Her father had taught her edible plants from the Fire Nation, but they aren’t _in_ the Fire Nation. Even if they were, she would still have to provide for a 16 year old boy and an old man who’s never gone without enough to eat. 

She really is trying her best, but it’s a lot. Asking Zuko to help was nice at first, and she enjoyed the quiet afternoons they spent together deep in the woods. That, however, had ended once the hunger set in. 

“I didn’t find anything to eat! I can’t live like this. I wasn’t meant to be a fugitive. This is impossible.” Zuko yells. Fei sits on the sun-warmed ground, listening to the gurgle of the stream in front of her, ignoring Zuko’s complaints. “Uncle, what are you doing?” 

“You’re looking at the rare white dragon bush. It’s leaves make a tea so delicious, it’s heartbreaking. That, orit’s white jade, which is poisonous.” Fei sighs and pushes herself to her feet, walking over to the men. 

“We need food, not tea. I’m going fishing.” Zuko walks away. 

_“Don’t eat that.”_ The wind murmurs.

“Is it white jade?” 

_“I don’t know, which is why you should leave it alone. I’m going to go practice. Don’t eat it.”_ She repeats. 

The clearing is quiet. The ground is dappled with sunlight, and birds chirp above her. 

The light slowly fades from the forest floor beneath her. Fei summons two twin swords, the same type that she had seen the Blue Spirit wield. She gives one an experimental slash, cutting a branch off of a tree. The blades are heavy and awkward in her hands. 

“Your stance is wrong.” Zuko says from behind her. Fei closes her eyes, shrinking the blades to nothing. 

_“I thought you were fishing.”_

“There wasn’t anything _to_ fish. Bring them back, I’ll show you how to use them.” 

_“No. Thanks.”_

“You won’t be able to defend yourself if you don’t practice.”

Two daggers grow in her hands, crooked and bright. Fei looks down at them and smiles, tossing them in the air where they turn into butterflies. They swirl around the two, wings fluttering silently. One lands on Zuko's hand. He waves it away, dispersing the light back into the clearing. 

“Your little light show won’t help you in a real fight. Or out here.”

“Zuko…” Iroh’s voice filters through the trees. The other butterfly disappears as Fei walks back out to him. 

“Remember that plant I thought might be tea?” 

_“You didn’t…”_ Fei sighs at the old man. 

“I did. And it wasn’t.” Iroh turns, revealing that he is _covered_ in red marks. 

Zuko lets out a yell. Fei buries her face in her hands.

“When the rash spreads to my throat, I will stop breathing. But, look what I found!” He opens his hand, showing them a branch of berries. “These are bacui berries, known to cure the poison of white jade.” Fei picks a berry up, inspecting it closely. “That, or maka’ole berries, that cause permanent blindness.”

_“These are maka’ole. Don’t eat them. Don’t eat anything! We need to get to civilization to help you with…”_ Fei gestures at him with the berry, then tosses it into a bush. Iroh follows her lead, tossing his branch away. 

“But where are we going to go? We’re enemies of the Earth Kingdom and fugitives of the Fire Nation.” Iroh itches his rash vigorously as he talks. 

“If the Earth Kingdom discovers us, we’ll be killed.” Zuko’s voice is careful, as though he doesn’t want to consider the other option. 

“But if the Fire Nation discovers us, we’ll be turned over to Azula.” Iroh counters. Fei gives Zuko a slightly amused look. He nods. 

“Earth Kingdom it is.” They walk into the woods, Fei with her plant and Zuko helping Iroh along. 

Hours later, they come across a small hospital. Fei knocks at the front door, giving Iroh a worried look as they wait for an answer. 

The door swings open to reveal a small Earth Kingdom girl smiling up at them. 

“How can I help you?” Fei steps aside, revealing Iroh, who’s rash has made it to his face.

“Come in. And- don’t worry about your grandfather. He’ll be fine.” Fei gives a weak smile as Iroh is taken away. 

oOo

“You three must not be from around here. We know better than to touch the white jade, much less make it into tea and drink it.” The girl flicks Iroh’s hand away as he tries to itch his rash. 

“Whoops!” The old man laughs. 

“Where are you travelling from?” She walks to Zuko. 

“Yes, we’re travellers.” He stands, ]but she holds his hand gently to wash it. Jealousy spikes through Fei. She looks away, arms crossed. 

“Do you have names?” 

“Names? Of course we have names. I’m, uh… Lee, and this is my Uncle, uh… Mushi?” 

Iroh shoots Zuko an angry look. “Yes, my nephew is named after his father, so we just call him Junior.” 

“And are you a part of the family too? What is your name?” The girl asks Fei. 

Fei shakes her head, panicking slightly, then signs a quick _“J-U.”_ The girl looks at her, confused. 

“Her name’s Ju, and she’s along to help me. An old man needs his aid.” Iroh translates. 

“Mushi, Ju, and Junior, huh? My name’s Song. You three look like you could use a good meal. Why don’t you stay for dinner?” Song asks. 

“Sorry, but we need to be moving on.” Zuko says, looking quickly at Fei. 

“That’s too bad. My mother always makes too much roast duck.” Song smiles. 

“Where do you live, exactly?” Iroh asks. 

After Song sees it fit for Iroh to be released, they walk to a small house.

Song’s mother leads them to a small dining room, then talks quietly to her daughter in the kitchen. 

“My daughter tells me you’re refugees. We were once refugees ourselves.” She says, returning to the room and setting a platter down. 

“When I was a little girl, the Fire Nation raided our farming village. All the men were taken away. That was the last time I saw my father.” Song says sadly. Fei takes small bites of the food, hoping she covers up the grimace at the temperature on her throat. 

“I haven’t seen my father in many years.” Zuko’s voice is quiet. Fei pauses, looking up at him. 

“Oh, is he fighting in the war?” Song asks. 

“Yeah.” Zuko sets his dish down, looking at his hands. 

The rest of the meal is tense, and Fei is all too ready to begin clearing dishes. 

“What are you doing?” Song’s mother asks. Fei freezes, noticing that everyone is staring at her. She begins to set the dishes down. 

“No, the help is appreciated.” The other three excuse themselves, leaving Fei and Song’s mother. They clear the table in silence, bringing the dishes to the kitchen where a basin of soapy water is waiting. 

“Is he your betrothed?” The woman asks after several minutes of quiet. Fei chokes, covering her cough in her arm and taking the moment to compose herself. 

Emerging, blushing, she shakes her head. 

“Are you sure?” Song’s mother asks. Fei nods again. “Ah, well. Maybe not now, but soon.” Fei busies herself in the dishes, not showing how happy the comment makes her. 

“Ju! We’re leaving!” Iroh calls through the door. Fei and Song’s mother walk outside to where Iroh and Zuko are getting ready to leave. 

“Thank you for the duck. It was excellent.” Iroh says. 

“You’re welcome. It brings me such pleasure to see someone enjoy my food with such… gusto.” The woman’s voice is pleasant. 

“Much practice.” He pats his stomach. Zuko turns to leave. “Junior, where are your manners? You must thank these nice people.” The boy turns reluctantly, giving a bow. 

“Thank you.” He turns back to leave. 

“I know you don’t think there is any hope left in the world, but there is hope. The Avatar has returned!” Song calls. 

“I know.” Zuko says bitterly. Fei turns to the two women, bowing carefully- she’s not sure whether they bow the same way in the Earth Kingdom as they do in the Fire Nation. When she catches up to the two men, Zuko has an ostrich horse with ihm.

“What are you doing? These people just showed you great kindness.” Iroh admonishes. 

“They’re about to show us a little more kindness. Well?” Iroh climbs onto the back of the ostrich-horse, but Fei crosses her arms. “Get _on_ , Fei.” Zuko sighs. She bites the inside of her cheek, looking back at the house. After a moment, She climbs on in front of him. His arms slip around her waist to grip the reins. 

_“Ah, well. Maybe not now, but soon.”_ For that night, Fei lets herself imagine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song's mother has done more for this relationship than literally zuko.  
> Comments and kudos keep me motivated!! take your meds and drink some water please.


	3. Return to Omashu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei stargazes

After hours of riding, the sun is peeking over the horizon. The trio practically falls off the ostrich-horse, slumping on the ground. 

Fei allows herself a moment of rest, skimming dry grass with the palms over her hands. Once that moment has passed, she forces herself to stand. Once she’s on her feet, she nudges the two men with her feet. Zuko rolls onto his back, arm thrown over his face dramatically. 

“What?” He groans. Fei smiles down at him. 

_ “We should go further into the woods.”  _ He sits up, reaching an arm out. Fei takes it and helps him to his feet. Iroh makes his own way up, and they wander deeper into the woods. 

A small clearing opens itself to them. Fei ties the reins around a tree. When she turns, the other two have already fallen asleep. She smiles, sinking to sit on the ground.  _ I guess that gives me first watch.  _

She wakes to someone shaking her shoulder. 

“You should get some sleep. I can watch.” Iroh says gently. Fei’s too tired to be embarrassed, just curls around herself and falls asleep. 

oOo

Fei wakes again to movement. Iroh is picking up sticks, but it takes a moment for her to place why it’s so dark.  _ The entire day must have passed.  _

An arm is settled loosely over the slight curve of her hips. Fei sits up quickly and turns red when she realizes who’s it is. 

Zuko is sprawled out, still, somehow- miraculously- asleep. 

Her gaze is turned away by Iroh striking two rocks together. He struggles, eventually lighting a spark that lights into a blazing fire. 

_ “Why don’t you just bend? _ ” The wind murmurs. Iroh’s head snaps up, searching for anyone who may have seen. 

‘I will not be using my bending so long as we are in the Earth Kingdom. And…I encourage you to do the same.” 

She definitely does not mean to bend this time. 

_ “None at all?”  _

“Fei.” 

_ “Sorry.”  _ She signs. Her eyes flick to the Prince’s still-sleeping form.  _ “But what about-” _

“I’ll translate for him. You need to stay safe.” Fei huffs, crossing her arms.  _ No bending.  _

The fire burns a bit brighter when Zuko wakes up. He sits, rubbing his eyes, and yawns. 

Fei had never really seen Zuko wake up aboard his ship, she always arrived a few hours after he awoke, but it was quickly becoming her favorite time of the day. She could go on and on about how his hair would be slightly mussed and his good eye would squint against the brightness of the day- but she doesn’t/ She just nudges a piece of meat roasting over the fire with a stick and ignores him looking at her.

“What, no good morning?” Fei can’t quite tell if he’s joking. 

“Good morning, my nephew.” Iroh’s voice is gentle. He’s clearly preparing to tell Zuko about the new ban on bending. 

_ “I think it’s night.”  _ Fei signs. 

“What?” Zuko’s brow furrows. Fei gives Iroh a long look. 

_ “No more bending.” _

Iroh lets out an awkward cough. “Yes, as Fei said… I think it would be best if we stopped bending where someone could see- or, hear.” 

“But how will we communicate?” Zuko asks. 

_ “That’s what I said!”  _ Fei signs, forgetting that he can’t understand her. 

“I know, it will be difficult. But we have to adapt. Maybe you could learn signing!” 

“Absolutely not. This is ridiculous!”  _ Absolutely not?  _ Fei stands abruptly and walks into the woods. 

She’s quickly becoming familiar with forests. There were none in the capital of the Fire Nation, but her father took her often on trips to visit her grandparents that travelled through woods, and these even looked like the clearing she visited in the Spirit World. 

_ Speaking of… _ Fei finds a comfortable bit of space and sits down. Her knuckles bress together on her own as her eyes take on a white glow. 

oOo

__ _ “Yang Chen, she’s here.” The woman with the fans calls. Fei feels a spark of pride at making it to the Spirit World on her own.  _

__ _ “I would hope so, seeing as I invited her.”  _ Oh. Not by myself, then. 

__ _ “Did you need to talk about something?” Fei asks, unused to- as always- the sound of her voice.  _

__ _ “I’m not sure how to put this…” Yang Chen trails off. _

__ _ “You need to practice more.” The woman with the makeup says bluntly, eliciting a strange look from Yang Chen.  _

__ _ “Sorry, but who are you?” Fei asks defensively.  _

__ _ “Kyoshi.” The woman says simply. The name is familiar.  _

__ _ “...Like the Kyoshi Warriors?”  _

__ _ “Yes.”  _

__ _ “My apologies. Why do I need to practice more?”  _

__ _ “Your struggles have not come to an end just because you’ve escaped the Fire Nation.You…” _

__ _ “You’re being followed.” Kyoshi cuts in. Yang Chen sighs.  _

__ _ “Yes. I didn’t know how to put it, but yes.” Fei stares at the two women and raises her eyebrows.  _

__ _ “I know.”  _

__ _ “You know?” Yang Chen asks. _

__ _ “Yeah, Azula- probably her band of friends by now, too.” The women don’t respond, they seem to have noticed something in the forest floor. Fei looks over her knees from her position, still sitting on the ground, but scowls when she only sees grass.  _

__ _ “He’s back.” Kyoshi murmurs. _

__ _ “Who’s back? Zuko?” Though spirits can’t blush, Fei imagines her face heating up. Kyoshi looks back up at her.  _

__ _ “You have to go back.”  _

__ _ “Is it him? No, wait, don’t-” _

oOo

Fei falls back into her body with a thud. When she blinks to fuzz out of her eyes, she notices that Zuko is indeed in the clearing with her. 

“Were you in the Spirit World?” Fei closes her eyes, nodding. 

“Are you crazy?” Her eyes fly open “What if someone saw you? What would they think if they saw you sitting in the middle of the woods with glowing eyes?” 

_ “What will they think if they see the Prince of the Fire Nation in the middle of the woods?”  _ Fei signs. 

“You know I don’t know what you’re saying when you do that!” 

_ “Then maybe you should learn!”  _ Her fingers fly through the air in anger, the wind whipping around her hair. Fei clenches her fists and turns on her heel to dash further into the woods. 

_ Why did he even come looking for me? Was it just to make me feel worse?  _

__ Fei comes to a stop at the forest’s edge. A cliff juts out over a river, far below, and a half moon sighs down. 

Memories flash in her head, of the North Pole, of the three weeks they had spent at sea with no food and hardly any water. The way Zuko had laughed at her jokes.

_ I thought…  _

But it doesn’t matter what she thought, because it wasn’t true. 

Fei lies down under the stars. She gazes at them, the way they twinkled in the black coldness of the night. 

_ So far away. So content. _

__ She distracts herself from the coiling lovesickness in her belly by wondering about the world. Space. Was there other life? Was there another girl on a star eons away who was looking at her right now?

Fei wonders about other life, and shadows grow long.

oOo

Heavy footsteps rouse Fei from her musings. Zuko sits down near her head, leaning back to look at the sky with her. 

“The moon is beautiful tonight.” He says. Fei doesn’t respond, just rolls to face away from him. 

“Are you going to say anything?” She shoots a contemptuous look over her shoulder. 

Growing up in the Fire Nation and as an airbender, Fei’s never has been absurdly cold, but she’s forcing herself to follow Iroh’s rule. She shivers. 

He notices. 

“Are you cold?” Zuko asks. Fei shakes her head, grimacing as a traitorous tear tracks over her nose and drops onto the ground. 

“You are. You… you don’t need to lie to me, Fei.” The way he says it makes her think that he’s not just talking about her being cold. She turns to lay on her back, an arm crossed over her chest. Zuko perks up when she shifts. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. Fei shakes her head, wanting to burn the images of the stars into her mind so she doesn’t have to look at anything ever again. 

“I’m sorry.” 

_ I’m sorry.  _

Those words are almost enough to lift her mood. 

Almost. 

“Is it Azula?”  _ Azul- what?  _ Fei looks at him in confusion. 

“Oh. Okay.” He laughs awkwardly. “I just… I know what she did to you.” 

_ “I’d hope so.”  _ The breeze curls secretively around his good ear. 

“Oh, so now you talk to me. It only took Azula.” Fei studies his face until he cracks a half smile. Fei gives him one of her own and sits up, dusting her arms off. 

“Uncle says we should get going.” Zuko helps her to her feet, hand warm in hers. She shivers again, teeth chattering slightly. 

“I knew it. You are cold.” He opens his arm wide. Fei ducks under it, feeling safer than she’d rather admit. 

“You have to promise to never run off again. Uncle looked like he was about to track down Azula himself to get you back- and neither of us know how to cook. Or gather plants.” 

_ “For a prince, you’re pretty useless.”  _ The words should have hurt- would have hurt, coming from anyone else, but the wind delivers it more as a playful jab than an insult. 

And part of the firebender can’t find it in him to care, now that she’s safe and with him. 

Because although his Uncle had been ready to track down Azula, Zuko had been ready to storm the Capitol just to find her. 

But he didn’t have to storm the Capitol. They’re still on the run, still miles away from his sister’s trio. 

Fei doesn’t say it, but it’s what she’d prefer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zuko please be quiet i promise it's for the best  
> yue is rly the most important person in the relationship rn 🙏🙏 queen shit  
> speaking of tlonw was originally supposed to be called the wordless queen fun fact of the week  
> drink some water and take ur meds!! comments and kudos keep me motivated :D.


	4. The Swamp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei returns to music

The next day, they make it to an Earth Kingdom village. Iroh chooses a spot in front of a small building. The stolen ostrich horse lays behind them, resting its head on the sun-baked ground. 

Iroh extends his hat to passers-by. “Spare coins for wearing travellers?” He calls. Fei fans herself with her hand, longing for the coolness of a breeze. 

“This is humiliating! We’re royalty! These people should be giving us whatever we want.” Zuko hisses, folding his arms. 

“They will if you ask nicely. Spare change for an old man?” Iroh asks a woman walking by. 

“Aw, here you go.” She smiles graciously, dropping a coin in the hat.

“The coin is appreciated, but not as much as your smile!” Zuko slaps his forehead as the woman giggles. 

A man wielding dual broadswords wanders up to them. 

“How about some entertainment for… a gold piece?” The man pulls a piece from his pocket dramatically. Fei draws her arms self-consciously about herself, unsure what the man means but sure it’s nothing good. 

“We’re not performers.” Zuko spits, shifting closer to her. 

“Not professional, anyways.” Iroh hands the hat to Fei. She keeps it in her lap as he stands and begins to sway. 

“It’s a long, long way to Ba Sing Se, but the girls in the city, they look so pretty!” Fei claps along to the old man’s song, a smile lighting up her face. 

“Come on, we’re talking a gold piece here! Let’s see some action!” The man yells. Fei’s clapping falters, and he pulls out his swords. “And don’t you stop!” She starts up again as the man begins to slash the ground near Iroh’s feet. The General jumps up and down to avoid the blades. 

“They kiss so sweet, you’ll really have to meet, the girls of Ba Sing Se!” Iroh finishes with a flourish. The man stops slicing and laughs. 

“Nothing like a fat man singing for his dinner! Here you go.” The gold falls to the ground, glittering in the dirt. “And I have something for you.” He gestures loosely at Zuko, unslinging something from his shoulder and handing it to the prince. “Maybe next time, you can participate.” 

“I don’t want your gift!” Zuko yells after him, but the man has already disappeared into the crowd. 

“Such a kind man.” Iroh swipes away a tear. Fei hands him his hat back, and as soon as her hands are free, Zuko shoves the man’s gift into her lap. She freezes in surprise, unsure what she’s looking at. Her eyes slide to Zuko’s in a questioning glance. 

“I told you, I don’t want it.” He sits back and covers his eyes with his hat. 

Fei picks the instrument up. It’s shaped vaguely like a pear, with four strings, each with their own tuning peg. Swirling patterns are cut roughly into the wood. 

“That’s a pipa.” Iroh tells her in between thanking passers-by. “A popular Earth Kingdom instrument.”  _ A pipa.  _

Fei strums it slowly. It’s quite large, the neck jutting over her shoulder. The base sits comfortably in her lap. 

As her playing begins to pick up, more and more coins fall into Iroh’s hat. By mid-day, they’re packing up to leave. 

A shallow river surrounds the village, with a small bridge crossing it. The group is forced to go two at a time to get across. 

Zuko and Fei wait for Iroh and the ostrich-horse to cross. 

The pipa is slung over her shoulder, her plant in her arms. Fei had kept most of her belongings after Azula’s attempted kidnapping, but Yang-Chen’s veil hadn’t even made it off of Zuko’s old boat. 

Iroh makes it across. The guard protecting the bridge steps aside to let them pass, nodding to the two as Zuko murmurs a thank you. 

The Prince is still worked up about the man with the swords, Fei can tell. She sees it in the way he avoids looking at her pipa and clenches his fist. 

Fei bumps him gently with her shoulder. She’s taken to the gesture ever since they started their strange brand of friendship, and had been using it more in the absence of her bending. 

When Zuko doesn’t respond, Fei sighs. They step off the bridge and nod to the guards, joining Iroh to walk deeper into the forest. 

Fei sends a quick glance over her shoulder to see where the guard is. 

_ “What’s wrong?”  _ The wind murmurs. Zuko doesn’t comment on her bending, just kicks a rock.

“We were just humiliated, and it’s like you don’t care!” Fei bites the inside of her cheek. 

_ “We weren’t humiliated.”  _

“Then what do you call what happened back there?” She pauses as another group of travellers passes them. 

_ “Look, we don’t have to go back. But if you get frustrated at that… you need to learn to pick your battles.”  _ Fei pulls up to walk with Iroh. 

“I do pick my battles!” Zuko calls. Fei ignores him. 

oOo

That night, Fei can’t get to sleep. She mid-toss when she thinks she hears movement from the other side of their camp.  _ Zuko.  _

She quiets, going as still as possible. Iroh’s snoring some ways away from the campfire, loud but not loud enough to cover the footsteps of the Prince creeping through the woods. 

A twig snaps. Fei shifts, keeping up the illusion of sleep, waiting for him to start moving again. He does, running deeper into the woods, and Zuko’s gone. 

Seconds after Fei stops hearing him, a piece of fabric floats down from the heavens. 

Shimmering. White. 

Still smelling faintly of the ocean. 

_ “Thank you.”  _ Fei whispers, ignoring the sting in her throat in favor of drama. 

She stands slowly, careful not to wake Iroh. Fei pauses briefly to slip the veil around her face, then runs off. 

The woods are more difficult to manage in the dark, but Fei doesn’t dare lightbend. After a few minutes of stumbling, she comes to a stop, closing her eyes. She inhales slowly, feeling the air mix with whatever’s left in her lungs. She exhales just as slowly, feeling her breath join the rest of the air. It swirls and eddys, going into the lungs and animals and-  _ there.  _

Fei steps carefully over a fallen log, walking carefully so as not to trip as she follows Zuko’s trail. 

The bridge is unmanned.  _ Unprofessional. Someone could break in.  _ Nonetheless, it makes life much easier for Fei. She crosses the bridge with little effort, halting briefly when she feels Zuko’s breath catch. 

It doesn’t take long for her to figure out why. 

The man with the broadswords is walking down the alley. The Blue Spirit is trailing him discreetly. 

“Who’s there?” The man asks. The Veiled Lady crouches just around the corner, closing her eyes to the screams. 

Not long after, the Blue Spirit slips away, heading back to their campsite. Fei approaches the injured man-  _ Injured, but not dead,  _ she repeats to herself. He’s bleeding from she-doesn’t-know-where, but he turns her head away as she approaches. 

“I’m sorry…” He whispers. Fei conjures light, faint, making it look like it’s emanating from her skin. The man relaxes. 

“Am I dead?” Fei shakes her head firmly, remembering the small Fire Nation village. She uses her veil to dab away the blood. He moves his arm, jerking it, then lets out a huff of pain. His hand sits at a strange angle. Fei tears a strip off of her veil and ties it as tightly as she can. Once she’s done, she draws a coin from the purse strung on her waist, pressing it in his chest. Before he has a chance to thank her, she’s disappeared into the night. 

Fei pauses only once on her way back to the camp. She soaks her veil in the river, praying it would get the blood and scent of the sea out. When it’s withdrawn from the river, it’s whole, with no hint of a tear. 

The fire is crackling when she gets back. Zuko is stoking it with a stick, face illuminated by the flames. 

Fei doesn’t say anything, just bends a breeze to dry her veil. Once it’s folded in her bag, she removes her belt and purse, letting the dress hang free. Zuko shifts slightly, adjusting his position so that  _ hypothetically,  _ someone could curl up next to him. 

She does, feeling the fabric of his shirt against her bare arm. They still don’t talk, don’t discuss what they know the other one was doing, for while they don’t agree with the other’s decision, they know it’s what was needed. 

For the first time in four years, Fei sleeps peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He does pick his battles he just picks all of them  
> drink some water and take ur meds owo comments and kudos make me very happy.


	5. Avatar Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei learns the true tale of the Veiled Lady.

Zuko hasn’t stopped attacking innocent civilians- Innocent, that is, in Fei’s eyes. She’s  _ sure _ that he doesn’t see them that way. It’s the only thing keeping her from questioning his sanity. 

That day’s conquest is several barrels of food that Fei recognizes from a couple they had passed earlier. 

“Where did you get these from?” Iroh asks when Zuko drops the barrels at his feet. 

“What does it matter where they came from?” Zuko shoots back, stalking away angrily. Iroh hums disappointedly, biting into a pastry he draws from the barrel. 

Fei follows Zuko out of the cavern they’re staying in. He’s looking at his Blue Spirit mask, running his fingers over a raised channel on the eye. She rests her head on a tree, watching him quietly. 

“What do you want, Fei? Are you off to pay that couple for their struggles?” Zuko asks. It’s the first time he’s acknowledged the way she dons her veil and helps the victims, but that’s not why she’s here. 

_ “Have I ever told you the story of the Veiled Lady?”  _

“No.” He’s silent for a moment. “But I do know it. It’s a story of a traitor to the crown. Azulon killed her. I don’t see what that has to do with us being poor.” Fei raises her eyebrows.

_ “That’s not what I was told. I was told that she was a stage performer who spoke out against the crown- the crown that did not rule her. Did you know she was from the Earth Kingdom? It’s strange, isn’t it, how differently a prince and a regular citizen can see things.”  _ The story her mother told her in the dark on late nights had been playing in Fei’s head ever since the veil had drifted down on it’s own that late night. 

“So you are here about them.” 

_ “Yes.”  _

__ “Look. I’m providing for us. Isn’t that enough?” Fei’s sigh reaches his ears on a breath of wind, clearly bent so that he would feel her disapproval. 

When he turns, she’s gone.

oOo

“Did he apologize?” Iroh asks when Fei returns to the cave. Fei shakes her head, sitting down near the fire. Iroh passes her one of the pastries he was eating earlier. She takes it gratefully, breaking it open with delicate fingers to reveal a bright red jam inside. 

“I know that this all is hard for him. But… I want him to learn how to live as a regular person. I want him to have a chance at a normal life.” Fei watches the man stare sadly at his hands. 

“And where have the two of you been getting off to?” Fei frowns at him. “Oh, I know that you two sneak away after dark.” She sighs, biting into her pastry to bite her time. Once it’s finished, Fei signs carefully. 

_ “Do you know the tale of the Veiled Lady?”  _ Iroh lowers his head in shame. 

“I do. I… was there when she was killed.” Fei gives the man a startled look.  _ Of course he was. It was Ozai who brought her to the palace.  _

_ “So it’s true?”  _

“Yes.” Iroh raises his head. “It brings me such joy to know that you are carrying her legacy.” Fei doesn’t move or even acknowledge his words, suddenly uncomfortable. She’s reminded of Iroh’s life- he was not always the gentle old man who she played Pai Sho with. He had laid siege on Ba Sing Se for 600 days, and that wasn’t even the worst of his crimes.

oOo

Fei agrees to watch the cave while Iroh walks around the woods. He doesn’t say so, but she knows he’s looking for his nephew, who still hasn’t returned from his talk with her. 

Zuko returns not long after his uncle’s departure. He sets down a bag, from which a tea set spills. Fei doesn’t comment on it, watching him quietly as they wait for Iroh’s return. 

“Looks like you did some shopping.” Iroh finally returns hours later. Fei’s not sure what he was doing, and is frankly getting sick of the two of them running off on their own adventures. But where did you get the money?” The old man picks up the golden teapot. 

“Do you like your new teapot?” Zuko is lounging against a tree, watching his uncle carefully. 

“To be honest with you… the best tea tastes delicious whether it comes in a porcelain pot or a tin cup.” Iroh squats next to his nephew. Fei hugs her knees. 

“I know we’ve had some difficult times lately. We’ve had to struggle just to get by.” He sets his hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “But it’s nothing to be ashamed of. There is a simple honor in poverty.” 

“There is no honor for me without the Avatar.” Zuko snaps.

“Zuko… even if you did capture the Avatar, I’m not so sure it would solve our problems. Not now.” 

“Then there is no hope at all.” Zuko stands to leave. As he passes Fei, she grabs his wrist loosely. He looks down at her, eyes burning with sadness and anger.

“No, Zuko! You must never give into despair! Allow yourself to slip down that road, and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something that you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.” Zuko pulls his hand from hers, disappearing once more into the foliage.

_ “If he captures the Avatar, the world will fall even farther out of balance than it already has.”  _ Fei signs. 

“I know. I pray that he… comes to his senses about what is best for him and the rest of the world.”

oOo

“We no longer have anything to gain by travelling together.” Fei stands, staring at Zuko in shock.  _ He wants to separate?  _ Iroh bows his head as his nephew slings a pack of supplies over his shoulder.

Zuko turns to Fei as if he wants to say something. She does too, but doesn’t know  _ what. What do you tell your prince who you’ve worked for directly for three years, who’s sister maimed you and who you’ve also had feelings for for most of those aforementioned three years?  _

_ Wow. We do have a complicated relationship.  _ Fei decides, in the end, to not say anything. She walks up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

It’s not the joyus hug they shared after he had given her the dress, nor the relieved hug on the bridge after Zhao had disappeared. 

It’s full of words unsaid, and of wishes that she had- that she could put those words into a coherent message. 

_ “Stay safe.”  _ The wind whispers. Fei holds him at arms length, looking him over for the last time. He turns, stopping as his uncle cries out. 

“Wait!” He presses the reins to the ostrich-horse into the prince’s other hand. 

_ “Good-bye.”  _ The wind is so quiet that he thinks he’s imagining it. 

Fei looks to Iroh.  _ “Where to next?”  _ She signs. 

“My nephew is right. We have nothing to gain by travelling together.” Iroh turns, avoiding her eyes, avoiding the boulder he just dropped on her. 

_ Oh.  _

__ Fei doesn’t bend anything, doesn’t sign a parting message to the man as she packs another bag. She shoves the questions whirling in her head deep into the bag, ignoring them for another day. 

_ What will happen to me? A 15 year old girl, all alone in the world. No money, hasn’t ever seen the real world since she was eleven.  _

__ Once her pipa is slung over her shoulder and her few belongings are packed safely away, Fei looks back at Iroh. 

“I lost my son… and now I am losing my second children.”

_ “Children?”  _

“Yes. I’ve seen you as my daughter ever since you taught me to sign.” Fei feels her eyes fill with tears. She presses a sad kiss to his cheek. 

The hot tears spill over her cheek as she turns to follow Zuko’s path out of the woods and to the road. 

_ It’s just a new adventure. Just another chance to make it home to Sayuri. _

__ But something in Fei’s head makes her feel like she won’t see her little sister again for a long, long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Veiled Lady story is up on my profile!! I'm also open to other shorts so message either my instagram (@/_girls.in.bikinis_) or my tumblr (@girls-inbikinis) with prompts!!  
> Comments and kudos keep me motivated!! Drink some water and take your meds, I know life is hard but you've got this.


	6. The Blind Bandit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei adjusts to a life of service- again.

Fei follows the path out of the woods. The ground beneath her slowly starts to turn to desert. She keeps pressing forward, promising herself she’ll stop at the next town. 

The next town doesn’t come. She’s forced to make camp in the middle of sand and nothing else for miles. 

_ Shouldn’t a desert be warm?  _ Is the last thing to pass through Fei’s head before she falls asleep. 

oOo

In the morning, the sand is already burning beneath her before Fei even has a chance to wake up. She stands, stumbling slightly, and sighs when she sees how sand has blown over her and her belongings. A gust of wind cleans her off as well as one can be without water. She sets off once more, squinting her eyes against the brightness of the sun. 

A small, decrepit town crops up ahead of her close to the middle of the day. Fei approaches it carefully, cautious of the light playing tricks on her, as she has heard it done to others. 

As she approaches, Fei knows it’s real. Four men sit near the entrance, talking and laughing loudly. She slows, uncomfortable at the glances they’re throwing at her, but her terrible thirst pushes her forward. 

The men leer at her as she passes. They can’t be more than a few years older than her. They’re all wearing a green uniform that Fei recognizes from the men who kidnapped her and Iroh, with the Earth Kingdom symbol emblazoned on it. 

“Come on, give us a smile!” One of the men yells as she passes. Fei ducks her head, keeping forward into the town. 

A warm arm wraps around her shoulders. “Stop it, you four!” Fei’s saving grace snaps at the men. The woman tucks Fei under her arm, the other full of laundry. “Come on now, you look like you’re hungry.” Fei’s not sure how the woman knows that she’s new here- maybe the vacant look in her eyes, or the white dress that stands out so harshly from the browns and greys of the town. 

“My name’s Sela.” The woman says after sitting Fei down with a tin cup of water. “What’s yours?” Sela asks tentatively. Fei pauses, then traces  _ Ju _ in the dust on the table. 

“Ju? That’s pretty. You’re a long way from home, aren’t you?” Fei nods slowly. She stands abruptly, opening her bag and drawing out a small coin purse. It slides across the table towards Sela easily. 

“Oh, I can’t take this. Not from a poor, starving girl. Here, how about this- you can do part of the chores in exchange for a bed in the barn, However long you want- I won’t turn down extra help. Not ideal, I know, but we must make due.” Fei nods eagerly, stooping to pick the bag up from where it was dropped upon their arrival back at the farm. 

“Oh, you want to start already? Perfect- Lee!” Fei freezes when she hears the name.  _ Is it possible-? _ The thought is cut off by simple logic, along with a small boy no older than ten scampering into the kitchen. “Lee, this is Ju. Ju, this is my son, Lee.” The boy gives her a quick bow, face sticky with something unidentifiable. 

“Hello!” He grins, showing off missing teeth. Fei gives him a tight-lipped smile, hiding her scar, and ignoring the fact that she wishes that it was Zuko standing in front of her right now. 

oOo

Days pass. Fei’s time is spent doing chores for Sela’s family- cleaning, cooking, taking care of the animals on the far, picking oranges from the grove behind their house. Ger nights are spent wishing she had someone to curl up with. Every night, she lays on her back and looks up at the sky through holes in the roof. Small darts for almost without her trying. They lodge deep into the tiles, sending them tumbling down on her. She brushes them away with a slight breeze, turning onto her side and drifting off- though it’s less like drifting off and more like tossing herself into a foamy brine- an experience she dreams about nearly every night. 

“You know, you’re getting to marrying age.” Sela says one morning over a cup of tea. Fei gives her a sharp look.

She’s reminded of Zuko. That was the only time she had ever thought of marriage outside of childhood fantasies- when Song’s mother had asked if they were betrothed. The question had sent a spiral of unexpected but not unwelcome thoughts through Fei’s mind- images of a quiet wedding, only Iroh watching, promising themselves to each other. 

“Come now, Sela, she’s only fifteen. And besides, who would she marry? All the boys her age are gone to fight the War.” Gensu reprimands softly. 

The first proposal comes that afternoon. It’s one of the soldiers who Fei’s never actually seen move from his position near the entrance of the city. She turns him down, shaking her head as she presses coin into a seller’s hand.  _ It’s because I don’t know him- not even his name!  _ Fei assures herself as she hurries back to Sela’s farm. It has nothing to do with the banished prince of the Fire Nation. Obviously.

oOo 

“You shouldn’t have turned him down.” The old man says the next day. He must have seen both of the proposals- not even proposals, really, just a question yelled from across the dirt road, “Ju, you should marry me!”. 

_ “I didn’t have a choice,”  _ she would have said.  _ “Can I really marry him while I have feelings for someone else?”  _

“If you’re going to make a life for yourself here, you can’t do it alone.”  _ Ah. So this is one of  _ those  _ towns.  _

That night, she pulls out her pipa. Fei strums it slowly, thinking of why anyone would want to marry her. Why that soldier wanted to marry her is no question- She’s always silent, no worries of speaking her mind, good at chores. 

_ The perfect wife.  _

__ _ But I don’t want to be  _ his  _ perfect wife. I want someone who actually likes me, who doesn’t just want to marry me because I’m there.  _

__ _ I want to marry Zuko.  _

Fei sets her instrument aside carefully, rolling onto her stomach to look at Ai’s plant. 

_ I should have stayed with her.  _

__ Fei has had plenty of time to examine her feelings for the girl, the jump in her chest when she remembers her beautiful face. Though it’s nowhere near as strong as her feelings for Zuko, she knows that they’re there. 

She knows of people who love their own gender. There are rumors of the princess’s best friends emerging from each other’s rooms late at night, and there was that boy from school with two fathers, but that was frowned upon back home. 

_ Almost as frowned upon as being an airbender.  _

All of that struggle was well and good, save for the fact that neither Ai nor Zukowere gerem and she likely wouldn’t see either of them again. 

_ Maybe, if I wait long enough, I can go meet Ai again.  _

Because Zuko is out of the question. 

Those thoughts accompany Fei into sleep.

oOo

Fei wakes up the next morning long before the sun rises. Something feels unexplainably off, something she can’t put a finger on. She hauls the laundry out past the main road, deliberately walking past the soldiers. They’re gathered around a game of cards, whispering to each other and laughing loudly. 

“Ju! My friend here wants to marry you!” Fei looks away from the men, putting her head down and ignoring the glances being thrown at her by the few passers-by.

The shallow well is empty when Fei arrives. The shade is welcome, protecting her from the sun beating down. Though it’s barely spring, the desert is unreasonably warm. Even the water is hot as Fei dunks a pair of Lee’s pants into it. The boy had left the house at the same time as Fei that morning, armed with eggs and a mischievous smile, but she had quickly lost track of him in the embarrassment of the marriage proposal. 

__ _ That’s not even how a proper proposal is done.  _ Of course, Fei knows that a small Earth Kingdom village proposal must be far different than the luxurious Fire Nation proposals she had heard tales of, but  _ really.  _

“Why don’t you sit with me, young one? You seem like you have a lot to learn.” The merchant calls as she passes. Fei looks over her shoulder to the house, catching Lee in the corner of her eye. He’s creeping around a side of a building with a small group of his friends, intent on making trouble as always. 

“Oh, Sela can be without her laundry for a few minutes.” The man pulls a stool from under his stand, pushing a small cup of water towards her. 

It shatters against the hard dirt when she drops it. Fei stares at the water soaking into the dirt, trying to decipher the real from the imaginary. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know the ending doesn't really make sense but it will next chapter!!  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated. Get some water and take your meds!


	7. Zuko Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei is no longer alone

He doesn’t recognize her at first. She’s dressed in a drab green dress, so far from the white gown he had given her. The pale skin he can see is tinged pink by the sun. Somewhere, he realizes later, he’d always assumed she’d freckle in the sun. 

Before he realizes who the woman with the laundry is, though, he addresses the man sitting behind the counter. 

“Could I get some water, a bag of feed, and something hot to eat?” Zuko holds his hand out, two coins glinting meagerly from his palm.  _ Shouldn’t have left all the money with Fei,  _ his mind grumbles. He curses his pride for the thousandth time. The woman next to him drops her glass, staring at it as it’s contents soak into the dirt. 

The three stare at the ground for several minutes. Eventually, the man speaks. 

“Not enough here for a hot meal. I can get you  _ two _ bags of feed.” The woman shoots Zuko a quick look, ducking under the table to pick the smashed ceramic out of the dirt. As he watches her, two children catch his eye. They hiss to each other, giggling. 

His eyes meet the woman’s, and he finally recognizes her.

“...Fei?” He murmurs, voice dry from days without water. She gives him a wide smile, her scar showing against her pale lips. Her hands lift as if she’s about to bend, and he almost doesn’t care about the dangers- he just wants to hear her words- but one of the soldiers he had passed on the way in cries out. 

oOo

“Ow!” One of the Earth Kingdom soldiers cries out. Fei had finally learned his name- Gow- and it fits his burly frame. “Hey! You throwing eggs at us, stranger?” Lee and his friend run off, leaving Zuko to bear the brunt of Gow’s threatening glower. 

Zuko sighs slightly, closing his eyes. His arm drops. Fei hadn’t noticed him raise it, but now she can’t help but wonder what he was doing with it.  _ Reach for me?  _

“No.” 

“You see who did throw it?” Gow steps forward. 

Zuko turns to the gathered soldiers. “No.” 

“That your favorite word, ‘no’?” Another man says. Fei reaches for Zuko’s sleeve, tugging it gently. He pulls it out of her grip. 

“Egg had to come from somewhere.” Gow saunters forward. Zuko turns towards the counter again. 

“Maybe a chicken flew over.” Fei watches the soldiers warily. One of them laughs, earning a glare from Gow, who’s inching ever closer to the two of them.

His hand swings down suddenly, hitting the bags of grain. Fei jumps, caught off-guard, as Gow pulls the bags off the counter. Handing it to his fellow soldiers, he says, 

“Thanks for your contribution. The army appreciates your support. You better leave town. Penalty for staying a lot steeper than you can afford, stranger. Trust me.” He pats the hammer at his side, eyebrow raised. 

The group saunters off. Fei pulls the bag of coins from her waist, pushing a few coppers towards the shop-keep, but the old man gives it back to her. 

“Don’t have any more.” He sighs. “Those soldiers are supposed to protect us from the Fire Nation. But they’re just a bunch of thugs.” Fei looks at Zuko at the mention of the Fire Nation to no response. 

Lee comes barreling out from an alley. He pauses at the sight of Fei. With a grin, however, he keeps moving.

“Thanks for not ratting me out!” Zuko ignores the boy, climbing aboard the ostrich-horse- which is looking worse for wear, Fei must admit. 

The boy gives Fei an annoyed look. She smiles at the boy, then reaches up to pat Zuko’s thigh. 

“I’ll take you to my house and feed your ostrich-horse for you. Come on, I owe you!” Zuko gives Fei a comically similar look to the one she had just received from Lee. He slides off of the steed, leading it reluctantly after the boy.

oOo

As they approach the lonely pig-farm, Lee perks up. The pens of pigs snuffle loudly, causing Zuko to shrink away slightly. 

“No one can ever sneak up on us.” Lee announces. Zuko shoots Fei a look. 

“No kidding.” 

Lee leads the ostrich-horse off. The pig-rooster who often made his bed right outside of the barn window crows at Zuko. Gensu catches sight of them. 

“You a friend of Ju’s?” The man dusts his hands off. Sela watches them warily from behind the house.

Lee scampers up to his father. “This guy just stood up to the soldiers! By the end, he practically had them running away!” Gensu laughs. 

“Is that right?” He looks to Fei. She smiles, looking at Zuko’s face, and nods. He gives her an angry look. 

“Does ‘this guy’ have a name?” Sela asks. 

“I'm- uh…” Zuko starts, 

“He doesn’t have to say who he is if he doesn’t want to, Sela. Anyone who can hold his own against those bully soldiers is welcome here. Those men should be ashamed to wear Earth Kingdom uniforms.” Gensu spits, voice full of contempt for the men plaguing the city. 

“The real soldiers are off fighting the War, like Lee’s big brother Sensu.” She gives Zuko searching glance. “Supper’s going to be ready soon. Would you liked to stay?”

“I can’t. I should be moving on.” Fei’s eyes widen, but Zuko ignores her.  _ Moving on? Already?  _

Sela frowns. 

“Gansu could use some help on the barn. Why don’t you two work for a while, and then we’ll eat.” Zuko nods reluctantly. Sela opens the door to go inside, then turns to look at Fei. 

“Ju? Are you coming?” Fei nods, following the woman inside and feeling Zuko’s eyes on her back. 

oOo

Dinner was exceedingly awkward. Fei just wanted a chance to get Zuko alone- to  _ talk _ , of course, nothing else. But, by the time she got that, Fei felt like she couldn’t breathe, much less ask him a question. 

It’s later that night. Fei lies in the barn, acutely aware of Zuko’s breathing. The sun no longer smiles down on her after the men’s work on the roof. 

She’s almost worked up enough courage to talk to him, ask him where he’s been for the last few days, tell him how badly she’s used him, when the door creaks open. 

Lee scampers inside. Fei can’t tell what he’s doing, only catching a glimpse of his shadow. It doesn’t take long for her to realize that the odd wing-shaped object coming off of his back was Zuko’s set of swords. 

Once the door closes, Fei sits upright. Zuko shifts around on the other side of the barn Moments later he stands over here. He stretches out his hand tentatively. Fei takes it eagerly. 

_ “Come on.”  _ The wind whispers. 

oOo

Lee stands in a field of sunflowers. He attacks several flowers, then stabs at a dead tree several times. Fei raises her eyebrows at Zuko, who steps forward quietly. 

“You’re holding them wrong.” The boy falls back, scared by the Prince’s sudden entrance. 

“Keep in mind, these are dual swords. Two halves of a single weapon. Don’t think of them as seperate, because they’re not. They’re just two different parts of the same whole.” Zuko says, demonstrating how to hold them. He swings the blades carefully, going slowly as to not injure Lee. Fei’s hypnotized by his concentration, the way the blades shine in the moonlight. 

Zuko catches her gaze as he gives Lee the swords. She grins at him, earning his own small smile. 

Lee laughs loudly when he’s done. The two walk towards Fei, who comes out from her vantage in the flowers. 

Zuko bends and picks up one of the sunflowers that Lee had beheaded. Fei takes it, cupping it in both hands as Lee chatters on. 

“I think you’d really like my brother Sensu. He used to show me stuff like this all the time.” Lee pauses at the steps to the back door, waving to them. It swings shut as he hurries inside, trying not to wake his parents. Fei watches a candle light upstairs and knows it’s didn’t work. 

The two sit in the orange grove. The trees lean over them, fingers clutching into the night. 

_ “You’re good with him.”  _ The breeze is quiet, cautious of snooping neighbors.

“Thanks.” He says awkwardly. They sit in silence for a moment, Fei desperately trying to think of something to say. 

_ “I missed you.”  _ She doesn’t look at him, thumb rubbing one of the yellow petals. He inches forward, clearly trying to be subtle. She smiles to herself, wiping it off of her face quickly, waiting to see what he would do. 

Fei’s caught off-guard when he hugs her. It’s not a comfortable hug- not at first, their different positions getting in the way. She still finds herself leaning into the hug, craving the closeness she hasn’t felt in weeks- not since the North Pole. 

They fall asleep like that, backs against the grass and legs tangled together. 

oOo

Fei wakes to Zuko’s chest against her back. He’s breathing softly, sending goosebumps down her back. She sits like that for a time as the sun rises over the small town. 

He wakes up not long after, disentangling himself from her. She straightens, wrapping her arms around her legs. 

_ “We should pack if we’re going to leave today.”  _ She bends. 

“Yeah… yeah, okay.” Zuko pushes himself to his feet. The two enter the barn, packing their things quickly. The ostrich-horse is waiting expectantly for them, following without a fuss to the front of the house. Sela’s family is waiting expectantly outside. 

“Ju, are you leaving too?” Gansu asks. Fei nods quietly, not quite meeting their eyes. 

“Here. This ought to get you through at least a few meals.” Sela hands Zuko a package. 

Fei climbs onto the ostrich horse. She’s getting settled when a dust cloud appears on the horizon. As it approaches, Fei realizes that it’s the group of Earth Kingdom soldiers. 

“What do you think they want?” Gansu asks. 

Though Fei is tense, Zuko seems calm as ever. “Trouble.” 

“What do you want, Gow?” Gansu asks then the men stop in front of the farm. 

“Just thought someone ought to tell you that your son’s battalion got captured.” Gow sneers. “You boys here what the Fire Nation did with their last group of Earth Kingdom prisoners?” 

“Dressed ‘em up in Fire Nation uniforms and put ‘em on the front line unarmed, the way I heard it.” Another soldier says, spitting on the ground. This does make Zuko stiffen. “Then they just watched.” 

“You watch your mouth!” Gansu cries. Gow rides towards the family more, likely to taunt them, when Zuko steps between them. The two men glare at each other. 

“Why bother rooting around in the mud with these pigs?” Gow snaps. Before anyone has time to respond, the men turn around and leave. 

“What’s going to happen to my brother?” Lee turns tear-filled eyes to Zuko, still standing defensively in front of the family. 

“I’m going to the front. I’m going to find Sensu and bring him back.” Gansu says. He walks away with his wife sobbing beside him. 

“When my dad goes… will you stay?” Lee asks. 

“No. We need to move on.” Zuko says firmly. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a dagger, then crouches, handing it to Lee. 

“Here. I want you to have this. Read the inscription.” Lee takes the dagger from its sheath, frowning at the inscribed message. 

“Made in Earth Kingdom.” Fei smiles. Zuko looks up at her, looking like he’s about to laugh. 

“The other one.” 

“Never give up without a fight.” Zuko ruffles the boy’s hair, then mounts the ostrich-horse in front of Fei. 

They ride off, leaving the small town far in the distance, until it’s just a speck of black among endless brown. 

Zuko pulls the onstrick-horse to a stop around mid-day. Fei slides off, tying the reins around a large rock. 

When she looks in his eyes, Fei can tell he’s not here. She tugs his wrist gently, forcing him to sit with her. 

oOo

_ Fei is young, She’s mopping the hallway outside of the Prince’s rooms. The ground behind her and, though she does have a towel to dry the ground, she desperately wants to use her bending to dry it.  _ Everything would go so much faster,  _ she thinks. _

_ She’s about to do it, to raise her arms and see if the wind would listen, when she hears a melody. It’s a familiar one, one that her own mother used to sing- not one that she would expect from the Fire Lady.  _

_ According to her mother, it was a popular lullaby amongst the airbenders.  _

_ Fei’s mind is taken off of the lullaby coming from the Prince’s room by small footprints on the damp ground. One of many tapestries hung on the wall is vaguely lumpy.  _

_ The young girl pulls it aside, only to reveal the Princess behind it. _

_ “What are you doing here?” Fei whispers.  _

_ “That’s none of your business!” Azula snaps. “You’d- You’d better dry this hallway before my father comes and sees what a terrible job you’ve done!” Fei laughs.  _

_ “The Fire Lord never inspects our work, silly!” The Princess gives her an angry glare and runs away- almost too fast for Fei to notice the tears in her eyes.  _

_ Almost. _

oOo

Fei’s awoken by Zuko muttering something. 

_ “What?”  _

“Nothing. You fell asleep.” 

_ “Oh.”  _ She furrows her brows as a noise she can’t place approaches. 

“Isn’t that Lee’s mother?” Zuko asks suddenly. 

_ “Yes, it-”  _ The wind cuts itself off as Sela approaches. Her carriage slows to a stop in front of them. 

“You have to help! It’s Lee- the thugs from town came back as soon as Gansu left. When they ordered us to give them food, Lee pulled a knife on them! I don’t even know where he got a knife! Then they took him away!” Sela begins to sob. Fei approaches, wrapping her arm around the woman’s shoulder. “They told me if he’s old enough to fight, he’s old enough to join the army. I know we barely know you, but…” 

Zuko stands. “I’ll get your son back.”

oOo

The sun sets over the small town. Zuko and Fei ride in astrid the ostrich-horse, following Sela’s carriage. The gathered people part for them, scattering like sand in the wind. 

“Hey! There he is! I told you he’d come!” Lee calls. He’s tied to a tower, little arms straining against the rope. Fei rushes forward, only to be cut off by Gow and his friends. Hands in the air, she backs away. 

“Let the kid go.” Zuko’s voice is quiet yet commanding in the silence of the town. 

“Who do you think you are, telling us what to do?” Gow laughs. 

“It doesn’t matter who we are.”  _ We.  _ “But I know who you are. You’re not soldiers; you’re bullies. Free-loaders, abusing your power- mostly over women and kids. You don’t want Lee in your army. You’re sick cowards messing with a family who’s already lost one son to the war. 

Gow turns to one of his friends. “Are you gonna let this stranger stand there and insult you like this?” 

The soldier charges foward with a spear, only to be knocked back by the hilt of Zulo’s sword. The Prince steps in front of Fei, giving her a clear message-  _ Stay out of this.  _

__ Another soldier races to fight him. Zuko knocks his spear out of the way, grabbing the man’s forehead and pushing him away. This soldier follows his friend in a panicked run from the scene. 

The last soldier makes it the farthest, but Zuko still easily kicks his spear in two pieces. Fei bends the air around the spearhead, directing it off it’s course. It skids to the ground at her feet. 

Gow steps up. He bends a rock towards Zuko’s head.  _ A bending fight- Zuko’s at a clear disadvantage. He  _ can’t  _ use his bending- not if we ever want to return here.  _ The boulder is knocked away by whirling blades, making a blur in the air. The first rock is followed by several cheers for Zuko- only egging Gow on. Finally, after Zuko has called several times only to regain his feet, he’s knocked back by an avalanche. Fei watches him lie there, unconscious, for only a moment. Then, she steps to place. 

“Do you really think you can beat me?” Gow boasts. Fei considers the question for a second, cocking her head, then spreads her arms wide. Gusts of wind knock Gow back.

The townspeople gasp. 

“An airbender.” They hiss.

Gow lifts a rock, clearly trying to get rid of her so he could finish off Zuko. 

_ No.  _

__ Fei sends darts of light deep into the rock, letting them burst. The rock explodes, bruising her face, neck, and arms. The pain doesn’t register. 

Gow does start to press her backwards in his attack. The untrained airbender is unused to battle. A large boulder hurtles at her head. Though she creates a shield, Fei’s pushed back even thrust her. When her foot presses against Zuko’s, she suddenly hears the roar of flames. 

Riding on instinct, Fei drops the shield of air and crouches, covering her head with her hands. She looks up when Zuko’s feet hit the ground. 

“Who- Who are you?” Gow asks breathlessly. 

“My name is Prince Zuko, Son of Ursa and Fire Lord Ozai. Prince of the Fire Nation, and heir to the throne.” 

“Liar! I’ve heard of you! You’re not a prince, you’re an outcast! His own father burned and disowned him!” An old man yells from the crowd. 

Fei straightens as Zuko kneels before the soldier. Gow shudders in fear, but the Prince only pulls Lee’s dagger from his pocket. 

He holds it out to Lee, who’s hiding behind his mother. 

“Not a step closer.” Sela holds a hand out. Zuko kneels once more. 

“It’s yours. You should have it.” 

“No! I hate you!” Lee runs off. Zuko stands once more. 

_ “Sela…”  _ Fei tries, the wind twisting around her leg. 

“No! I thought I could trust you! All this time…” The woman turns away quickly. “Leave. Now.” Fei’s eyes fill with hot tears. Zuko puts his arm around her shoulder, shielding her as best he can from the stares of the crowd. 

As they ride off for the last time, the day turns to night. 

Hours later, Fei imagines she can still feel the villager’s stares on her back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter hurt my hands to write dhmu.  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated (p lease). drink some water and take your meds! have you eaten anything today?


	8. The Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei must ask a question

Not long after they’ve left the desert town behind, a pair of indentations through the middle of a flower field. Fei gives a hurt gasp at the flowers crushed beneath the treads of whatever passed through. 

Zuko’s face darkens as he recognizes the prints.

“Azula.” He mutters. Fei tenses slightly, hoping for a moment that he won’t follow his sister- that he’ll continue on and leave his old life behind. 

But, though Zuko has changed by that Earth Kingdom town, it’s not enough. 

oOo

_ “Are we really following her?”  _ Fei asks once the sun has set. Zuko stops the ostrich-horse in a clearing. 

“Following who?” He doesn’t meet her eyes. She sighs dramatically. “Fine. Yes, I am. I need to prove myself.” 

_ “Prove yourself to who?”  _ Even the wind’s words are exasperated.

“Her. My father. Everyone.” 

_ “Your father’s not here. It’s just me, and-” And you don’t need to prove yourself to me. _

__ Zuko pulls out some of the food from Sela. Inside, a bag of dried rice slumps over, spilling over the ground. 

“At least a few meals?” Zuko asks sarcastically.

_ “There wasn’t much in that town.” _ Fei picks up a bowl, going to look for water. 

oOo

Hours later, Fei leans against a tree. The coals of the fire are still glowing, pulsing with the rhythm of the wind. Zuko sleeps, breathing evenly. Something feels  _ off,  _ some vague awareness making her shift uncomfortably and look around the clearing. She scoots forward, nudging Zuko with her foot. 

_ “Something’s wrong.”  _ The wind murmurs, but that too feels wrong. Like its not paying attention. 

“What?” Zuko asks sleepily- much too loudly. 

Fei shushes him, pressing a finger to her mouth and holding the other towards him. They sit in silence for a few tense seconds. 

“What is it?” He whispers-  _ tries to whisper.  _ Fei appreciates the gesture. She considers, looking into the darkness where she knows he is. 

_ “I don’t know.-”  _ Fei sits up straight again.  _ “Something’s wrong.” _

The wind no longer is under her control. It begins to whip around her, putting out the embers in the fire. Her hair twists around her hair- she can’t see anything, can’t hear. 

“Fei! What are you doing?” Zuko yells. 

“ _ This isn’t me.”  _ Her mouth forms the words, her hands try to bring them to life, but nothing happens. 

“Stop!” A hand closes around her wrist. She feels the air return to her in that moment, a vacuum forming around her. Then it explodes out in a gust of wind and light, knocking over trees and scattering their belongings.

“Agni’s name.” Zuko breathes. He’d gotten close to her during the-  _ the what? What was that?  _

Fei grips his arm, eyes filled with panic. 

_ “That wasn’t me.”  _ He raises his eyebrow.

“The explosion of light  _ didn’t  _ come from the only lightbender?”

_ “No-” He’s not listening. “Before. Before, when- that-”  _ And the air is out of her control once more. 

“She’s right. It wasn’t her.” A man comes out from a toppled tree. 

“It was quite vain of you, wasn’t it, to assume you’re the last airbender?” Wang asks. 

oOo

“Why are you here?” Zuko steps in front of Fei again, the way he had done at the town. This fight is different, though- it’s her fight. 

“I’m here to bring this lovely songbird to the Fire Nation.” Wang’s hands curl, the same way Fei’s do when she’s about to bend.  _ Azula. _

She attempts a light breeze, but nothing comes. He still has a stranglehold on the air. The fight would have to be physical-  _ physical, or lightbending.  _

_ No. Not lightbending. I'm not powerful enough- not strong enough, not good enough to defeat any hunter  _ she _ chose. _

The thought hits Fei as Zuko falls to the ground. She looks at him, eyes wide, noot understanding what’s happening. His face is red as he gasps, choking on nothing. 

“What are you going to do, Fei? Don’t you want to save him?” That's when she realizes what he's doing to her Prince. 

Fei plants her feet the way she had seen Zuko do hundreds of times. As she pushes her arm forward, light streams along her arms, coming together when her hand ends. 

It's enough to distract Wang. Zuko gasps beside her, choking and coughing in his attempt to get air in his lungs.

Fei gives him a concerned look. Her attention is pulled ack to wang, who’s raising his hands once more to-  _ what? What’s he going to do?  _

They don’t stick around to find out. Zuko grabs Fei’s arm, pulling the ostrich-horse’s reins and they take off through the woods. 

After she’s sure that their pursuer is far behind them, Fei tugs on Zuko’s arm to get him to stop. He’s panting- panting, but  _ breathing.  _

“What  _ was  _ that?” He asks. The ostrich-horse lifts it’s legs uncomfortably. 

_ “He’s- he’s an airbender.”  _ The air is back under her control, to Fei’s relief. 

“ _ What?”  _ He yells. “There’s more of you?” 

_ “I guess, I didn’t- I didn’t know. I thought I was the last one.”  _ Fei looks down at her hands. 

His voice is soft. “It’s okay. Let’s keep moving.” Zuko helps her onto the ostrich-horse, climbing up behind her as always. 

They ride into the night, not daring to sleep. 

oOo

They find the tracks to Azula not long after. Fei still can’t quite tell what it  _ is _ , an animal or a strange machine, but Zuko is certain that it’s her. The tracks lead to a small village, with fur trailing to the entrance.

Zuko leads the ostrich-horse in, sticking close to a wall. 

The voice doesn’t shock Fei this time. She knows what they’re tracking, who they’re going after. 

“It’s okay, you can laugh. It’s  _ funny. _ ” The same taunt Fei had received- no, not Fei. Azula’s friends. Whenever the princess had taunted the airbender, her friends were barked at to  _ laugh, for Agni’s sake.  _

“So what now?” This is the voice that catches Fei off-guard.  _ Aang. What is he doing here? He should be far away, on his way to master another element. _

“Now? Now, it’s over. You’re tired and you have no place to go. You can run, but I’ll catch you.” Fei can  _ hear  _ the smirk in Azula’s voice. 

“I’m not running.” Aang says. Fei winces.  _ He should have run. If he had- if he flies away, right now, with his glider, maybe Zuko will too.  _

Azula laughs, long and loud and bone-chilling. “Do you really want to fight me?”

Zuko slides off of the ostrich-horse, stepping into the light. 

“Yes, I really do.” He announces. 

“Zuko!” Aang says, alarmed, then looks up and narrows his eyes when he sees Fei. 

“I was wondering when you’d show up, Zuzu.” Azula crosses her arms, as relaxed as Fei’s ever seen her. 

“Zuzu?” Aang laughs. 

“Back off, Azula, he’s mine!” Zuko yells. His anger is practically tangible. The three assume a fighting position, aiming their arms at each other. Fei watches, eyes wide, hoping that what she knows will happen doesn’t come to pass. 

Azula fires a blast at Zuko. It’s bright blue, all consuming, taking up all of her and leaving nothing remaining. It hurtles towards his head, nearly bringing Fei to jump off the ostrich horse in any attempt to protect him. Zuko falls back into a porch from the force of the blow.

Fei’s attention is caught by a swirling of air. Aang takes off from the ground, soaring away. Azula swings her arm down in a wide arc above her head. Flames soar through the air towards the Avatar. Fei knows what she has to do. He’s not ready, he’ll be taken down- and she won’t let another airbender fall to the flames. 

A gust of air turns him over, sending him higher and out of the range of the princess’s flames. 

Azula turns to look around, a snarl on her mouth. 

“Oh. It’s you.” She brings her arms to her side, grinning smugly. “I hadn’t thought that Zuko had brought his songbird.” 

_ Songbird.  _

Zuko straightens, bringing his arms up once more. “Don’t call her that!” He yells as Aang falls between them. Zuko fires a blast at Aang, who dodges easily. Aang runs past Azula, trying to escape. He’s cut off again by fire- dodges again. 

The siblings face each other. Fei takes one look at the fight and knows what will happen. She jumps off of the ostrich-horse ungracefully, running after Aang. 

“Get back, Fei!” Zuko yells as Azula fires a blast at him. Fei ignores him, trying to make it to the airbender, to ask-  _ what’s it like to bend when another airbender is there? Is she supposed to lose control?  _

“You really should listen to him, songbird.” Azula sends fire towards Aang. “It’s dangerous out here- especially for someone as frail as you.” 

_ “Aang!”  _ The wind hisses. He swings around Azula, now running for the front of town. 

Azula’s arms swing wildly, sending too many attacks towards her opponents.  _ How does she even have that stamina?  _

_ “Aang!”  _ She tries again. 

“Leave me alone, Fei!” He calls over his shoulder, taking off to avoid an attack. He lands on the roof above her. 

Fei can feel Azula’s eyes on her. 

“Move, Fei, and I won’t hurt you.” Fei averts her eyes, ducking to the side, her years of service coming back to her. 

She doesn’t want to- never let it be said that every muscle in her body  _ wasn’t  _ screaming for her to stand up to the princess- but she felt like she had to. Especially when she saw the glimmer of truth in the princess’s eyes. 

Azula had done many things to Fei, but she had never lied to her.

Fei realizes what she’s done moments after Azula pushes past her. She whirls, running through the doorway. The steps creak under her, threatening to snap and send her tumbling.

What  _ does,  _ nearly, send her tumbling is the broken floor she stumbles upon at the top of the creaking stairway. Fei would have fallen if not for her airbending- though, she’s also certain that Aang helped. 

The person who does fall is Zuko. He lands with a thud and a yell on the first floor, glaring up at Fei and his sister. 

Azula suddenly sends a dart of fire towards Aang. He dodges it, landing on the small bit of flooring that’s still left. Fei suddenly realizes that her own air keeping her buoyed is quickly dissipating. She falls, landing precariously on her feet. Her arms shoot out, trying to keep from toppling over. The siblings ignore her, Zuko recovering from her fall and Azula keeping her attack on Aang. 

Azula destroys the wall next to Zuko, causing him to fall unconscious. Fei can feel herself getting overwhelmed, the blue fire that plagued her nightmares darting from side to side in front of her vision. 

Aang leaps between buildings, avoiding Azula’s fire, clearly trying to escape. He gives Fei a pleading look, a look that clearly says  _ help me.  _

She should, should help him escape and live another day, maybe save the world some day.  _ If he dies here, won’t it be my fault?  _

But she’s just Fei. Just a mute serving girl who can’t stand up to anyone. She looks away. 

“Katara!” Pulls her attention back to the fight. Indeed, Katara is standing in the town, looking out of place in her blue. A water whip has clearly knocked the princess off-course, but Azula doesn’t waste any time turning back on the offensive. 

Iroh enters the building the two are in. This finally brings Fei back-  _ Iroh’s here, he won’t let me get hurt. I have to be strong in front of him.  _ She drops to her knees beside Zuko as the Prince finally starts to wake up.

“Uncle…” He groans.

“Get up!” Iroh says urgently. The two help Zuko to his feet as the earth quakes. 

“I thought you guys could use a little help.” A small girl Fei had never seen before announces. 

“Thanks!” Katara’s voice is joyous, excited to see the girl. Azula seems to realize that she won’t win this fight. She rises to her feet, obviously making an attempt to escape. Iroh steps in front of her, blocking her path and trapping her in a corner. 

Fei stands defensively beside Zuko, who has the rest of Aang’s friends beside him. Iroh stands on the opposite side of her, all of them preparing to attack the princess. 

“Well, look at this. Enemies and traitors, all working together. I’m done.” She raises her arms. Fei shifts slightly, feeling uncomfortable and knowing the princess is tricking them but not knowing how. “I know when I’m beaten. You got me. A Princess surrenders with honor.”  _ A princess surrenders with honor.  _ Fei remembers Ursa saying that to her daughter, quiet in the library of the Fire Capitol. 

_ No, that wasn’t it- _

__ The blast hits Iroh. Zuko lets out a cry of alarm that mingles with Iroh’s pained gasp. Fei never takes her eyes off of Azula, sending her arm forward when the rest of the fighters send their attacks. Light darts fly through the air towards the princess, accompanied by stone, fire, water, and what looks to be- a boomerang? 

Aang gives Fei a strange look as the dust clears. 

Zuko is at Iroh’s side in a second. He inspects his uncle, brows furrowed. 

“Ugh! Get away from us!” He yells. 

“Zuko, I can help.” Katara steps forward. 

Zuko doesn’t listen. He sends his own blast towards the concerned group, crying out, “Leave!” 

_ “Wait!”  _ They don’t hear her. They scurry away, hiding from the Prince and his mutilated servant. 

_“A princess never surrenders, not if she wishes to keep her honor. Keep fighting, my girl, even if the fight seems out of your hands.”_ _That was what the Fire Lady had said._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first chapter in a long time (ever?) that hasn't been proofread i actually finished it like fifteen minutes ago so i hope it's good JDJSJS  
> my love language is words of affirmation so comments will make me cry probably  
> drink some water and take your meds!!


	9. Bitter Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei realizes implications

Fei wasn’t good at taking care of injured people. She liked to try, and liked to be at their side, but beyond that she was useless. In fact, to her surprise, it was Zuko who took charge in caring for his uncle’s wounds. 

Fei wasn’t even in the small hut that they had made their home when Iroh woke up. She had been standing in place, watching the sun rise while the bucket of water she’s holding strains at her fingers. 

“I hope I made it the way you like it.” Zuko says as Fei approaches. A cry of disgust follows this. Fei grins, hurrying inside. 

“Good. That was very… bracing.” Iroh tosses the rest of his cup over his shoulder. “Ah, Fei. It’s good to see you.” She sets the bucket down, waving at the man as Zuko speaks. 

“So, Uncle, I’ve been thinking. It’s only a matter of time before I run into Azula again. I’m going to need to know more advanced firebending if I want to stand a chance against her. I know what you’re going to say; she’s my sister and I should be trying to get along with her.” Fei sits down stiffly, ignoring the mention of Azula- and really the conversation as a whole. She had thought that just  _ maybe  _ the fight they’d have would have cured her of her terror, but it seemed that she was just as scared of the princess as before. 

“No, she’s crazy and she needs to go down.” Fei looks up with wide eyes at that. She knew that she would never have the strength to be merciful towards Azula, but she had assumed- hoped, maybe- that Iroh and Zuko would find it in them to treat Azula the way she deserved. 

_ Maybe this is the way she deserves.  _

__ _ No. I can’t believe that.  _

__ _ If I do, what does that say about me?  _

__ Iroh stands. “It’s time to resume your training.”

oOo

While watching Iroh and Zuko train, it’s just like she’s back aboard his ship. Fei knows she shouldn’t miss that time, but life was so much  _ simpler _ then. She never worried about the Avatar beyond thoughts of Zuko’s mental health, and never had to worry about the way he made her feel. 

Iroh’s voice drifts in from the outside. “Lightning is a pure form of firebending, without aggression. It is not fueled by rage or emotion the way other firebending is. Some call lightning the cold-blooded fire. It is precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique requires peace of mind.”  _ Precise and deadly. Is that really what Azula’s like? Surely she hasn’t always been like that- if she was precise and deadly when she was 11 then I wouldn’t be here.  _

“I see. That’s why we’re drinking tea, to calm the mind.” Zuko says. 

“Oh yeah, good point! I mean, yes. There is energy all around us. The energy is both yin and yang. Positive energy and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders can separate these energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance, and in a moment, the positive and negative energy come crashing back together. You provide release and guidance, creating lightning.” Fei looks away from the window at her own hands in her lap. 

_ What makes lightbending?  _ Yang Chen hadn’t contacted Fei in days- maybe weeks, and she doesn’t know what’s happening. She wants a teacher, someone to tell her why she has this skill and others don’t.

_ Why am I a lightbender? Why am I the last true airbender?  _ Well, that wasn’t true anymore, was it? 

_ Wang. An airbender.  _ She should have seen it coming. The way he walked, the way he always wanted to talk to her. They had nothing in common- not even age. 

oOo

“Why can’t I do it? Instead of lightning it keeps exploding in my face… like everything always does.” He groans, already wanting to give up.

“I was afraid this might happen. You will not be able to master lightning until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you.” His uncle sighs.

“What turmoil?” The prince snaps. From the corner of his eye, he can see the girl move from her place in the window. 

“Prince Zuko, pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.” Zuko feels his rage spike at this. 

“Well, my life has been  _ nothing _ but humbling lately.” He hisses. 

“I have another idea. I will teach you a firebending move that even Azula doesn’t know, because I made it up myself.” His rage is replaced by pride at his uncle’s words.  _ Not even Azula.  _

__ His uncle guides him to smooth ground, picking up a stick and drawing swirls up in the dirt. 

“Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy to drive and achieve what they want. 

“Earth is the element of substance. The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persistent and enduring.

“Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, apparently they had a pretty good sense of humor.” He looks up at the window, now empty of Fei.  _ Freedom. She was meant to be free.  _

__ “Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything.” He pulls his eyes back to his uncle. 

“Why are you telling me these things?” He asks. 

“It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.” The only man divides the four symbols with a cross. “Understanding the elements, and the other nations will help you become whole.”

“All this four elements talk is sounding like Avatar stuff.” Zuko say, brushing off the things in his chest when he thinks of Fei.  _ She deserves better than she’s got- better than what I’ve given her.  _

__ “Waterbenders deal with the flow of energy. A waterbender lets their defense become the offense, turning their opponent’s energy against them. I learned a way to do this with lightning.” His uncle doesn’t notice- or, perhaps, ignores- his nephew’s lack of attention. 

“You can teach me to redirect lightning?” 

“If you let the energy in your own body flow, the lightning will follow it. You must create a pathway from your fingertips, up your arm to your shoulder, then down into your stomach. The stomach is the source of energy in your body. It is called the ‘sea of chi’.”

oOo

Fei settles back into her seat in the window. Iroh is sitting across from Zuko. 

“Only in my case, it is more like a vast ocean.” He chuckles. “From the stomach, you direct it up again, and out the other arm. The stomach detour is critical. You must not let the lightning pass through your heart, or the damage could be deadly.”  _ Deadly. Should he really be teaching Zuko something so dangerous?  _ Fei can’t ignore Azula, though. The lightning trick is certainly something that needs defense against. “You may wish to try a physical motion, to get a feel for the pathways’ for, like this.” Zuko copies his uncle’s careful movement, extending his arms, then bringing them together and separating them again. Fei can almost imagine energy flowing between his palms.

“Now, are you focusing your energy? Can you feel your own chi flowing in, down, up, and out?” Iroh asks. 

“I think so.” 

“Come on, you’ve got to feel the flow.” They practice for a few minutes. Fei can’t quite take her eyes off of Zuko’s lithe form, moving under the sunlight. 

“Excellent! You’ve got it!” Iroh announces.  _ Already? He’s only done it a few times, though. _

__ “Great, I’m ready to try it with real lightning!” Fei springs to her feet, ready to race out the door and put a stop to their mad quest.  _ He can’t use real lightning on a 17 year old! _

__ “What, are you crazy? Lightning is very dangerous!” Iroh asks. Fei breathes a sigh of relief.  _ I shouldn’t have assumed. This family, though- it wasn’t a crazy idea.  _

__ “I thought that was the point! You teaching me to protect myself from it!” Zuko cries. 

“Yeah! But I’m not going to shoot lightning at you! If you’re lucky, you will never have to use this technique at all!” Iroh admonishes.

“Well, if you won’t help me, I’ll find my own lightning!” Zuko mounts his ostrich-horse and rides off. 

Iroh comes into the hut, shaking his head. 

_ “A storm’s coming. He may well find what he’s looking for.”  _ The wind murmurs. Fei watches the General carefully, watching for a reaction. 

“I pray he doesn’t. He’s not ready.” 

It feels like a betrayal to admit it, but Fei knows he’s right- and about more than just this. He’s not ready for the world, to face his family, to find the Avatar. He needs  _ time.  _

__ oOo

The storm does come. Fei sits at the window all night, waiting for him to come back, worrying when the night stretches on and he doesn’t. The one breath of hope that keeps her from despair is that she does not see any lightning strike. 

He does come back, of course. It would take more than that to finish Prince Zuko. 

He’s soaked to the bone, shaking and face red. She doesn’t comment, putting a blanket around his shoulders and letting him rest with no judgement. 

_ Not ready.  _ He could be. 

Soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas!!   
> i know this time of year is hard, but it will pass and you'll see your family again- biological or chosen. drink some water and take your meds, or eat something if you havent. you deserve it.  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated.


	10. The Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei severs connections.

_ “Oh, Fei, you’re finally here.” Yang Chen’s voice is filled with more relief than Fei has ever heard. The same feeling fills her, relishing the feeling of being back in the Spirit World.  _

__ _ “What do you mean ‘finally’?” Fei asks.  _

__ _ “I’ve been trying to bring you here for a very long time- weeks in your world.” Fei stands, brushing herself off, though nothing was on her.  _

__ _ “What happened?”  _

__ _ “I was hoping you could tell me that.” Fei pauses.  _

__ _ “What do you mean?”  _

__ _ “I knew that we would lose contact if you stayed with the Prince, but I didn’t know the severity. I wasn’t even able to send you blessings.” _

__ _ “Blessings?”  _

__ _ “Oh, little things to help you along your way. The pipa, the veil, the family.” Fei’s breathing would have stilled, had she been breathing.  _

__ _ “The family?”  _

__ _ “What were their names? Lee, I believe.” Yang Chen finally notices Fei looking at them. “Yes, my sister?” _

__ _ “I think you should send me back.” Fei says firmly. Her fingers twitch, wanting to sign. She hardly knows how to use her voice- indeed, feels like she shouldn’t.  _

__ _ “I can’t send you back. We have to help you with-”  _

__ _ “Send me back.” She draws herself up to her full height.  _

__ _ “If that’s what you want.” The Avatar seems uncertain. “Are you sure?”  _

__ _ “I’m sure.” And, she’s suddenly  _ back at the camp they had made- It’s empty, and Fei has no idea where Iroh or Zuko are. She sits up, panting, throwing the blanket off of her. 

_ What have I done?  _ The question makes her skin crawl. If they only got this far because of Yang Chen, what would happen now that she’d stopped it? She wants to return to the Spirit World, to beg for forgiveness and hope that their small group of three outlaws wouldn’t perish in the Earth Kingdom deserts. 

Something inside her- maybe something foolish, maybe pride, maybe a leftover from growing up alongside Zuko for all these years- keeps her from that.  _ So I made the only airbender willing to teach me anything mad at me. I can learn on my own.  _

__ Moments after she thinks of him, Zuko stumbles into the room. He freezes when he sees her, not unlike the way Fei had in the Spirit World. 

“Oh. You’re up.” His face flushes- so does her’s, when she realizes he isn’t wearing a shirt. Fei looks away, staring down at her hands. “Uncle! She’s awake.” 

“Good, good.” Iroh says, voice approaching. He peeks through the door at her. “Good morning, my girl. Today will be very long- I have a new destination.” 

_ “Where?”  _ A broad grin spreads across Iroh’s face as she signs. 

“The greatest city in the Earth Kingdom- Ba Sing Se!” 

_ Ba Sing Se.  _ Fei feels her stomach tighten. The city she’d always wanted to go to, the city she’d almost been kidnapped and taken to. The city that the original Veiled Lady had done her work in. 

_ Will I meet her same fate?  _

“Up, up, up! Pack your things! I do not think that the ostrich horse can carry all three of us.” 

“We’re going to walk all the way to Ba Sing Se?” Zuko moans. 

“You two will!” Iroh says cheerily. 

oOo

Iroh was, in fact, being serious. He rode the ostrich horse while Fei and Zuko trudged along beside him. Zuko grumbled his way through the journey, kicking at sand and cursing the world. 

Fei walks silently beside him, keeping her eyes down. She can feel her burns from her time with Sela flaking-  _ Sela.  _

__ _ Was she really sent by a spirit? I truly thought I had found someone who would-  _ She looks up sharply as she realizes why that news had hurt her.  _ I thought I had found someone who would love me and protect me without needing to, without being obligated to.  _

When  _ was  _ the last time she’d felt that? Her parents, she supposed, but she couldn’t call what they did protection. They could have done  _ something,  _ could have travelled to a new country or even just away from the Capital. They could have simply not sent her to work under the royal family.

_ But what about Iroh?  _ A voice whispers, a voice that seemed to want to protect her naive mind from the truth of the world. 

_ Who knows,  _ she shifts the bag she’s carrying,  _ That could also be Yang Chen. Maybe everything I’ve ever done has just been a part of a big game by the spirits, pushing me into place. Maybe I’m like the lost girls in the stories Mother used to tell, those who were only there to make the hero stronger and didn’t get a tale of their own. _

__ Her gaze slides to Zuko.  _ Does that make him the hero? If I’m the nameless character, a sideshow, does that make him the main attraction?  _ Fei huffs. 

_ Attraction. Maybe it’s working.  _ She hasn’t paid any mind to her feelings towards him, to the way he makes her stomach flip when he gives her one of those secretive smiles, the way her face tingles when his golden eyes meet hers. 

Part of it makes her happy, reminds her that though they may be on the run in the middle of a desert, there was hope for her to have a normal life.  _ Some day.  _

Once again, her mind turns to Ba Sing Se. She’s thought of the city a hundred times- a thousand- but there was never any real hope that she’d make it. Fei knows the stereotypes of airbenders, that they’re flighty and never stay in one place for long, and yet she also knows that the tugging in her stomach seems to be guiding her there. To a bright light, a life away from the Fire Nation and the Air Nomads, a place she could be happy. 

_ It might not work. I could get there and miss the sea, or miss travelling, or- spirits forbid- miss Zuko.  _

It will happen, Fei realizes as they make camp.  _ No matter where I go, I won’t be able to escape this Fire Prince, or his family.  _

__ _ Three years,  _ she muses over a bowl, looking into flickering flames that light up a clearing,  _ three years do not leave a person unscathed. Three years will not allow me to live in a quiet apartment and meet someone at a fountain. Three years will not give me a fairy tale romance.  _ She looks up, catches him staring, and smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters pretty short, but i'm very proud of it!! i hope you enjoy.  
> My thoughts with those in or near DC.  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated!!  
> drink some water and take your meds, take a deep breath and relax. Everything's going to be okay.


	11. The Desert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Iroh meets an old friend

The next morning, Iroh takes a look at Zuko’s worn figure and sighs, making room for him on the ostrich-horse. Fei watches them, refusing when Iroh invites her up too. 

_ “You’re right, I’m not sure it can carry us.”  _ She teases light-heartedly. 

Hours later, Fei feels as though she may keel over if she walks any further. As soon as she stills, ready to ask them to stop and rest, Iroh lets out a long, dramatic groan. She looks up at him, concerned, but grins when she sees the way he clutches his arm.  _ Faking it.  _

“Maybe we should make camp.” Zuko says. 

“No, please, don’t stop just for me!” The old man responds, but doesn’t stop. Zuko pulls on the reins, not saying anything but clearly annoyed at Iroh’s performance. 

As the two dismount, Fei takes her satchel off her shoulders, checking her lavender-crocus. It’s wilted slightly from days without proper water- still alive, though, and she is proud of that. The ostrich-horse makes an alarmed noise. She looks up, dropping the flap when she sees Zuko in a firebending position. 

“What now?” Iroh asks, exasperated. Fei hopes it was just a squirrel-bunny- of course, it wasn’t.

Five men ride into the clearing, riding rhino-lizards. Iroh’s back stiffens, but a wide smile spreads over his face as he claps a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. 

“Colonel Mongke! What a pleasant surprise!” Fei inches closer to the two, eyeing the closest beast to her- a mighty thing that could likely snap her in half if it chose.

“If you’re surprised we’re here, then the Dragon of the West has lost a few steps.” The one Iroh addressed calls. A warm hand grips Fei’s wrist, calming the way the earth seems to be swaying underneath her. It’s not quite enough to combat the fear that spikes through her when she catches sight of a heavy chain that one wields. 

“You know these guys?” Zuko asks, guiding Fei slowly backwards, closer to him. 

“Sure. Colonel Mongke and the Rough Rhinos are legendary. Each one is a different kind of weapon specialist.” Iroh’s voice perks up. “They are also a very capable singing group.” She doesn’t turn to face Mongke, keeping her eyes on the one she was originally facing. 

“We’re not here to give a concert. We’re here to apprehend fugitives!”  _ Ah. So they’ve been sent by Azula.  _ Or- perhaps not, she considers, seeing as Zuko and Iroh’s faces were plastered over the whole kingdom. 

“Would you like some tea first? I’d love some. How about you, Kahchi? I make you as a jasmine man. Am I right?” 

“Enough stalling! Round them up!” An arrow flies towards Fei and Zuko, flames eating at the tip. Zuko knocks it aside as Fei extinguishes the tip. The weapon falls to the ground with a harmless tthump, quickly forgotten in the chaos of battle. 

Fei sends small, glowing darts towards the rhino-lizards. Not enough to harm them, but enough to frighten them. 

“What’s this?” The animal’s passenger grunts. “Is it fire?” She ignores him, suddenly hyper-aware that Zuko was no longer at her back. Whipping her head around, she catches sight of him attacking Mongke. 

“Fei! Get on the ostrich-horse!” Iroh yells. She obliges, scrambling onto its back. The old man follows, taking hold of the reins and guiding them towards Zuko. He jumps on, causing the ostrich-horse to let out a grunt as they ride away. An explosion near them makes Fei flinch. The smoke surrounds them and their escape. 

“It’s nice to see old friends.” Iroh rubs at his shoulder. 

“Too bad you don’t have any ‘old friends’ that don’t want to attack you.” Zuko grumbles.

“Hmm.. old friends that don’t want to attack me…” The ride is quiet for a few moments. The ostrich-horse’s panting is interrupted when Iroh declares, “Children, I believe we ought to take a detour.” 

oOo

The detour, of course, just sent them back to the desert. For all Fei’s dramatics over not being able to escape her past, she was hoping that  _ this _ chapter would be something she never had to think about again. 

A town comes into view not long after. The three stop to dismount their steed before they enter. Zuko pulls his hat low over his face. 

The town is far kinder on the eyes than the other desert village- though, it’s still clearly struggling.  _ The Earth Kingdom must not extend very many kindnesses to its citizens.  _ Fei catches sight of a wanted poster. Zuko and Iroh were on it, which turned her stomach, and the Blue Spirit, as expected, but a fourth face glared down at Fei- her own. 

Not under her name, though. Azula seemed to be keeping her existence under tight wraps. No, the poster was of the Veiled Lady. 

_ Why?  _ She wonders as they enter a dark tavern.  _ What have I done to offend the law?  _ Fei wants to get closer to the poster, read what it says, learn her own crimes. 

“No one here is going to help us.” Zuko grumbles. “These people just look like filthy wanderers.” 

“So do we.” Iroh amends kindly. “Ah, this is interesting. I think I found our friend.” He points over his nephew’s shoulders. Fei follows where he’s gesturing to see an old man sitting at a Pai Sho table. 

“You brought us here to gamble on Pai Sho?” Zuko asks. 

“I don’t think this is a gamble.” The three approach the table. “May I have this game?” 

“The guest has the first move.” The man says. Iroh sets the white lotus tile in the center of the board, the way he always did when he used to play with her. She remembers the last game they shared, the day Aang returned. 

“I see you favor the white lotus gambit. Not many still cling to the ancient ways.” The man cups his hands towards Iroh in a gesture unfamiliar to Fei. 

“Those who do can always find a friend.” Iroh returns the motion. 

“Then let us play.”

The game passes quickly- too quickly, Fei realizes. It’s not a game. 

Hands draw away from the board to reveal a flower, petals extending from the original tile. 

“Welcome, brother. The White Lotus opens wide to those who know her secrets.” A moment of peace passes between Iroh and the man, the safety that can only be found in relearning an old friend’s voice, interrupted by Zuko saying, 

“What are you old gasbags talking about?” 

“I always tried to tell you that Pai Sho is more than just a game.” Iroh rolls a tile under his knuckles and it disappears into his hand. 

Another memory is brought to the forefront of Fei’s mind- that of a boat going over a waterfall and a Pai Sho tile following not far after it. 

_ “Prince Zuko, you’re really going to get a kick out of this. That lotus tile was in my sleeve the whole time!” The Prince snatches it and throws it down the waterfall, but as they turn to leave, Fei airbends it into her hand, turning it over in her palm. It was of a much higher quality than the rest of Iroh’s set, made of a white wood painted red with gold inlays. She slips it into the General’s hand, wondering what need her would have of such a piece.  _

__ Her thoughts are shattered by yelling. “It’s over! You two fugitives are coming with me!” Another man yells. Iroh’s friend steps in front of them, protecting them somewhat from the attack. 

“I knew it! You three are wanted criminals with a giant bounty on your heads!” 

“I thought you said he would help!” Zuko hisses. Iroh puts a hand on his shoulder. 

“He is. Just watch.” The assurance does nothing to loosen the tension in her chest. 

“You think you’re going to capture them and collect all that gold?” Iroh’s friend asks. This draws the attention of everyone in the bar. 

“Gold?” The patrons ask, some standing and drawing weapons. 

“Uh… Maybe we shouldn’t..” The man’s partner mutters. He doesn’t listen, creeping towards them with his eyes locked on Zuko. Two men jump in front of him, blocking his path. Others join the fight, overturning tables. Fei’s hypnotized for a moment by the slabs of earth jutting out of the ground. She’s never  _ seen  _ earthbending, not that she can remember and certainly not this close. 

She jumps at someone grabbing her hand. Zuko tugs on it, urging her to follow him and Iroh out of the tavern.

They come to a shop inside of a flower shop. Fei looks around in awe of the blossoms around them. Zuko’s temper, which had been rising all day, boils over. 

“Now that you played Pai Sho, are you going to do some flower arranging, or is someone in this club going to offer some real help?” He snaps. 

“You must forgive my nephew. He is not an initiate and has little appreciation for the cryptic arts.” Iroh assures, words smoothing the wrinkle in the other man’s brow. Iroh’s friend walks up to a door, knocking twice. A peephole opens. 

“Who knocks at the garden gate?” Someone on the other side asks. 

“One who has eaten the fruit and tasted its mysteries.” Iroh responds. The door opens.

Fei stays back, watching the older men enter and the door shut in front of Zuko. 

“I’m afraid it’s members only. Wait out here.” Iroh says, opening the window. Zuko pouts, crossing his arms and leaning against a table. Fei rests a hand on his shoulder, only to be brushed off as he goes to smell another flower. She frowns briefly, mood lifting when she sees a watering can full of water for her poor lavender-crocus. 

oOo

Hours later, Iroh returns. Fei hadn’t been able to fall asleep, watching the door carefully from a rickety wooden chair for the General’s return.

Zuko springs to his feet, taking a defensive stance. 

“What’s going on? Is the club meeting over?” He asks. 

“Everything is taken care of. We will continue our journey to Ba Sing Se.” Fei stands wearily from her chair. 

“The city is filled with refugees. No one will notice two more.” Iroh’s friend assures. 

“We can hide in plain sight there. And it’s the safest place in the world from the Fire Nation. Even I couldn’t break through to the city.” Iroh shrugs. Fei finally feels some relief, a sense of safety- no, not safety, but the idea that she could be safe.  _ Maybe I really was always meant to go to Ba Sing Se.  _

A young man enters, ringing the bell. 

“I have the passports for our guests, but there are two men out on the street looking for them.” The men from the tavern creep around outside, holding a poster of Zuko. The found safety from moments earlier flees Fei faster than it arrives. 

Her eyes land on two large flowerpots. She waves her hand, gesturing Zuko and Iroh over to it. Iroh wrinkles his nose, but both climb in without complaint. Fei takes the passports in her bag. She reaches out, convincing the wind to lift the heavy packages onto a nearby cart, not worrying about those around her knowing. 

Just in time, she hauls the cart out of the shop. 

That’s how she leaves that small town. Air tugging at two pots, hand not quite holding the handle. That’s how she starts her journey to Ba Sing Se

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for your consideration: peace by taylor swift as feiko  
> drink some water and take your meds!!! comments and kudos keep me motivated:)


	12. Serpent's Pass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei remembers.

The next day, the sunset finds them on a ferry. Fei leans into the wind, feeling the sea spray on her face and the ache in her bones. It had been too much to drag the cart carrying the two men- even alternating the burden between her bending and physical strength. When they had arrived at the ferry she collapsed, sleeping the day fitfully through. 

Fei was awake now, though, and reliving her three years on Zuko’s ship. 

“Who would have thought after all these years, I’d return to the scene of my greatest military disgrace… as a tourist!” Iroh jams a flower hat on his head. Fei doesn’t look over. The reminders of Iroh’s history set her on edge, a deep discomfort she couldn’t name. 

“Look around. We’re not tourists, we’re refugees.” Zuko snaps, taking a mouthful of his food and spitting it out. “Ugh! I’m sick of eating rotten food, sleeping in the dirt. I’m tired of living like this!” Fei sighs, retreating from the railing. 

“Aren’t we all? My name’s Jet, and these are my freedom fighters, Smellerbee and Longshot.” A tan boy with exaggerated eyebrows says. A short girl accompanies him, along with a larger boy. 

“Hey.” The large boy nods as the little girl speaks. 

“Hello.” Zuko’s voice is wary. Fei feels the same way, eyeing the three.

“Here’s the deal. I hear the captain’s eating like a king while the refugees have to feed off his scraps. Doesn’t seem fair does it?” Jet is watching Zuko as carefully as Fei’s watching him. 

“What sort of king is he eating like?” Iroh asks. 

“The fat, happy kind.” Rather than call off all of it, convince Zuko not to join this strange boy, Iroh’s mouth waters. He doesn’t object. “You want to help us ‘liberate’ some food?” 

Zuko looks into his bowl, then tosses it in front of Fei into the water. “I’m in.”

oOo

Fei stays awake that night. She can’t remember the last time she slept well- maybe that night she followed the Blue Spirit into that town. That doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that she, being awake, sees Zuko sneaking away with Smellerbee and Jet. She thinks he knows she’s there. That doesn’t change his mind. 

She brings her legs to her chest, hugging her knees. The food _was_ bad, it was foolish to ignore that, and these refugees deserved better. _Could it be a good thing that Zuko’s doing this? I mean, his family is the reason that they’re here._ The thought stings her brain. _I shouldn’t be thinking like that._

_I’m right, though, aren’t I?_

_The Fire Nation has done so much to harm- to everyone._

Still, though, Fei is content in the knowledge that Zuko should not be breaking the law. _The Fire Nation needs to repair the damage it’s brought onto the world, but it needs to be done the right way._

Her mind turns to the meetings at the core of the country that she’d always been able to listen in on. No one paid any mind to the mute serving girl- _forgettable._ There had been talk of wars, of waterbenders and walls and Avatars. Of course, Fei was a child. She hadn’t _known_ what it meant- had barely known what a crime _she_ was, much less the importance of raids on the South Pole.

_“Sir, I believe that we have heard word of the last waterbender in the South Pole.” A man in an impressive uniform stood, speaking with his head lowered to Lord Azulon._

_“The last waterbender…” Lord Azulon murmured. “Ever?”_

_“No, sir. I’m afraid that the North Pole- The Northern Water Tribe, that is- has closed their borders to us. We can’t get word in or out.”_

_The Fire Lord bangs his fist on the table. “Damn waterbenders.” He exhales, slowly._

_“Sir?” The man asks._

_“Do it. Raid the South. We shall- we shall have to work on the North. For now that is all we can do.”_

Fei’s grip on her knees tightens when she realizes just what she had witnessed. Katara’s voice plays on a loop in her head. 

_“I don’t have a choice.”_

_“Yes you do!”_

_“You don’t get it.”_

_“I do! My mother-”_

She lets out a shaky sigh as tears spill over onto her cheeks. _My mother- My mother- my mother-_

It reminds Fei of those nights alone on the ship, when all she could think about was that village she had visited. No matter how hard she tried to just _stop_ , _stop thinking about it it’s making everything worse,_ she couldn’t. 

A hand falls on her shoulder, drawing a startled noise that sets her coughing. 

“You okay?” Zuko asks. She wipes her face, nodding. Iroh and a few other people Fei doesn’t recognize sit down close to her. Zuko makes his own space, too, sitting beside her. They eat in quiet for a few moments as the sun rises. 

“So, Smellerbee. That’s an unusual name for a young man.” Iroh says finally. Smellerbee stiffens, tensing her hand around her food. 

“Maybe it’s because I’m not a man… I’m a girl!” She jumps to her feet and runs away. 

“Oh, now I see. It’s a beautiful name for a lovely girl!” Iroh calls after the fading figure. 

Fei stays by Zuko’s side after the meal. She still doesn’t trust Jet, for all his chivalrous nods and the way he acts like he cares about others. _Maybe it’s the way Zuko looks at him._

“From what I heard, people eat like this every night in Ba Sing Se. I can’t wait to set my eyes on that giant wall.” Jet saunters up to them. 

“It is a magnificent sight.” Iroh agrees. 

“So you’ve been there?” 

“Once. When I was a… different man.” 

“I’ve done some things in my past that I’m not proud of, but that’s why I’m going to Ba Sing Se: For a new beginning. A second chance.” The corners of Fei’s eyes soften. Whatever Jet had done, he did seem truly sorry. _Besides,_ Fei considers, looking around, _These people are well-fed for the first time this whole journey._

“That’s very noble of you. I believe people can change their lives if they want to. I believe in second chances.” Iroh’s eyes stay on his nephew. 

oOo

He stands alone on the boat. He’s aware of her- he thinks he always will be. He always has been. From that afternoon in the garden, he’s felt responsible for her safety. 

He’s starting to learn that she doesn’t always need him. 

“You know, as soon as I saw your scar, I knew exactly who you were.” Jet says. Before Zuko even has time to panic, the boy continues. “You’re an outcast, like me. And us outcasts have to stick together. We have to watch each other’s backs. Because no one else will.” 

He looks at her, now. She’s back to looking over the banister at the sun. It reminds him of the times when he was first exiled, when he would catch her watching birds dive in the air or animals splash in the sea below. She’d always scamper off when he approached.

What would happen if he walked up to her now? Would she make room for him on the railing, bend him a message? Perhaps she’d sign something he could clumsily translate. 

“I’ve realized, lately, that being on your own isn’t always the best path.” He says firmly, and walks over to her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> agh i really hope you guys aren't getting tired of this story, i promise we get some good feiko moments in bss.  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated!! drink some water and take your meds, i love you :)


	13. The Drill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei finds a home

“So, Mr. Lee and Mr. umm … Mushy, is it? And then the girl.” The woman at the ticket booth says. 

“It’s pronounced Mushi.” Iroh corrects her. 

“You telling me how to do my job?” She asks, annoyed. Fei winces. 

“Uh, no, no. But may I just say you’re like a flower in bloom. Your beauty is intoxicating.” Iroh leans forward, lowering his voice to talk to the woman.

“You’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself, handsome.” She lets out a strange growling noise that makes Fei flush in embarrassment at the eyes drawn to them. “Welcome to Ba Sing Se.” Their tickets are stamped without further comment. 

The three walk past Jet on their way into the city. Fei fixes him a glare as he murmurs to his friends. 

She finds a bench and sits down, keeping her lavender-crocus in her lap and watching for a train. Zuko sits besides her, shoulder so close to hers that Fei can feel the heat coming from him. 

Jet sits on his other side. 

“So, you guys got plans once you’re inside the city?” Jet asks. Fei tenses her arms, drawing the terracotta pot closer to her in preparation for whatever he was about to say. 

“Get your hot tea here! Finest in Ba Sing Se!” A tea seller announces, interrupting whatever Zuko was about to say.

“Ooh! Jasmine please!” Iroh waves his hand widely from where he had sat down on Fei’s other side. The seller pours Iroh a cup, but the tea is only meant with a harsh coughing from the old man. 

“Ugh, coldest tea in Ba Sing Se is more like it! What a disgrace!” Iroh frowns down at his tea, disappointment evident in his face. 

Jet whispers something to Zuko. The two boys walk off, leaving Fei to watch after them worriedly. She can’t hear them, and doesn’t want to betray their privacy with her bending, so she lets her anxiety over whatever they could be saying eat her up. She can almost feel herself spiraling, feels like she might fall into the bottomless pit of her worries, until Zuko begins to walk towards her again. 

“I said no.” He calls over his shoulder. 

Jet matches Zuko’s volume. “Have it your way!” 

Zuko’s eyes meet Fei’s briefly, softening. They widen in anger when he looks at his uncle, though, and Fei whips her head around to see what he’s doing. 

Iroh’s hands glow a slight red, heating his tea until it steams. Fei acts quickly- her fingers twitch slightly sending the cup flying out of Iroh’s hands. 

“Hey!” Iroh exclaims. 

“What are you doing firebending your tea?” Zuko hisses. “For a wise, old man, that was a pretty stupid move!” Iroh doesn’t respond, head bent over the tea soaking into the ground. 

“I know you’re not supposed to cry over spilled tea, but… It’s just so sad!” 

Zuko keeps a wary eye on Jet as they wait for the train. The other boy seems equally concerned, though his worries don’t lie with Zuko. A sick feeling in the pit of Fei’s stomach tells her that Jet had seen her airbending. 

_ He had learned of her powers at the Western Air Temple. It was one of the first stops they made after Zuko's exile. _

_ Fei’s mother had whispered to her to  _ never _ show her powers to  _ anyone _ , but it was so hard. Every day, the air would swirl around her as she moved- there was no escaping it. It got far worse at the temple.  _

_ It’s like the wind was begging her for direction, like it needed a place to go.  _

_ She could almost hear it, telling her that it was so lonely, there had been no airbenders here in so long.  _

_ By the second day, she knows she can’t put up with it anymore. Fei trails Prince Zuko and General Iroh from their campsite to the temple once more, where a soldier secures a rope around a tree for them to climb down. _

_ The Prince shimmies down first, still letting out pained groans when sweat dripped under his bandage. The soldier followed close behind. The General stands at the top, peering over the cliff.  _

__ _ “I don’t think I can climb down there, my girl.” He laughs heartily.  _

__ _ My girl. Fei had heard tale of General Iroh, the kindest one in the Royal Family, but nothing could shake the image she had of Ozai- so much like his brother- bending over the Prince.  _

__ _ “No, really. Go on.” General Iroh gestures again.  _ Is this an order?  _ Fei can’t tell. She follows his direction, swinging over the edge of the cliff. The rope is gripped in her sweaty palms, reminding her of days spent at the playyard of her old school.  _

__ _ Something’s wrong, though, her skirt is too heavy. She can’t grip the rope with her legs. Suddenly, she’s sliding down the rope. Quickly, too quickly, the ground is approaching- until someone catches her.  _

__ _ Not someone.  _

__ _ Something.  _

__ _ The wind drops her on her feet. She brushes her skirt off, not realizing what she’d done.  _

__ _ “You.” Prince Zuko says. Fei looks up at him. He’s staring at her. “You’re the Avatar.” He laughs. “And here I thought I was going to be looking for him for years, when  _ she’s  _ right under my nose. My father delivered her to me, wrapped in a bow. Guards, apprehend her.”  _

__ _ She puts her arms out in a feeble attempt to protect herself.  _ Maybe I can blow them away. There’s just the two,  _ her mind races, but the fight is over before it’s begun. The guard is a man far older than her, face stoic beneath his mask.  _

__ _ A puffing comes from behind her.  _

__ _ “Now, Prince Zuko. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” General Iroh says. He’s clearly just struggled down from the top of the cliff.  _

__ _ “Get ahead of ourselves? She’s an airbender. She  _ has _ to be the Avatar.” Zuko snaps.  _

__ _ “Come. Speak with me.” The General pulls his nephew aside, whispering quietly in his ear. Fei can’t hear them, can’t listen in without her bending.  _

__ _ “Hey.” The guard whispers. Fei looks at him, startled. “I’m Wang.”  _

__ _ She gives a wary smile. Her finger twitches.  _

__ _ “I’m Fei.” The wind’s voice is familiar to her ears, a companion reuniting after so long. Wang doesn’t look all that surprised either.  _

__ _ “We’re going back to the boat.” The Prince snaps. _

__ _ “Yes, sir.” Wang salutes with his free hand. “Is she still a prisoner?”  _

__ _ “No.” Zuko’s voice is contemptuous, so far from the safety Fei had found in the wind. “I haven’t ruled you out, though.” He growls as he stalks back to the rope. Wang releases her hands. Fei rubs her wrists, watching the Prince and his guard climb up the rope.  _

__ _ The General stops beside her. _

__ _ “That was a foolish move, my girl.” He whispers. She turns wide eyes to him, wondering what he said to his nephew to have her released. “Unintentional, however. Am I right?” His eyes twinkle. Fei nods.  _

__ _ “Ah, well. We should not blame ourselves for the uncontrollable.” He smiles again. “I’m always eager to learn new languages. Might you be willing to teach me to sign?”  _

__ _ Fei nods once more.  _ Maybe I can indeed find a home here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is short :// but we are officially in bss!!   
> comments and kudos keep me motivated! drink some water and take your meds, i love you.


	14. City of Walls and Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zuko gets in a fight

Zuko stalked ahead of Iroh and Fei. They had gotten caught up in a flower shop, Fei gazing at the petals that seemed painted on the world. When they had finally left, laden with a tall orange plant, Zuko had pulled ahead. 

When she catches up to him, Fei stands next to Zuko. He stares coldly at the flower his uncle was holding. 

“I just want our place to look nice, in case someone brings home a lady friend!” Iroh bellows, elbowing his nephew. Fei smiles, covering her mouth, at Zuko’s expression. 

“This city is a prison. I don’t want to make a life here.” He mutters, ducking his head. 

“Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. Now come on, I found us some new jobs, and we start this afternoon.” That catches Fei off-guard- she wasn’t sure what she’d be doing in the city, but returning to work so soon was not in her plans. 

The walk back to the apartment is full of quiet chatter. Fei can’t join in- her arms are full, and Iroh can’t watch her every move for sign. 

The apartment Iroh had found is small. The entirety of it was only slightly larger than Fei’s old room aboard Zuko’s ship, though that could be chalked up to that room being unnaturally large. 

As always, her lavender-crocus had found its place on the floor near her where her head rested when she slept. Spring fell slowly into summer, and the flower bloomed brighter than ever. 

“Children, we’d best be off if we want to make it to our new jobs.” Fei stands at Iroh’s words, waiting near the door. 

The walk to the tea shop is silent. Zuko’s breathing is tense, shaking as he takes it in in measured amounts. Iroh whistles, seeming clueless, and Fei is waiting for something to destroy the closest thing she’s having to a normal experience. 

oOo

“Well, you certainly look like official tea servers.” Pao, their new boss, says. “How do you feel?”

Fei smiles at him, tying her apron around her waist- it only goes around twice, a fact she’s proud of. She’d begun to fill out her bony structure as her comfort had grown with her partners. 

“Ridiculous.” Zuko snaps. The smile slips off Fei’s face. 

“Does this possibly come in a larger size?” Iroh asks, struggling to tie his own apron. 

“I have extra string in the back. Have some tea while you wait!” Pao pours three cups of tea for them, then retreats to the back of the shop. Fei looks down at hers, wishing she could cool it down, when the hair on the back of her neck prickles. 

Her head snaps up, looking around for what set her off- not knowing  _ how _ she was set off- as she dimly recognizes Zuko and Iroh talking. Nothing seems off, just a tea shop full of chattering customers. 

The day passes normally after that. The three learn the ropes, learn how each other worked in such an environment. It quickly became obvious that Iroh needed to stay in the kitchen- otherwise, he’d start too much small-talk with the customers. Zuko was best at the register, where he could keep to the prices written on the board. Fei would bring the food to the customers, delivering it silently and with a smile.  _ The same way I did on the ship,  _ her head whispers, but she knows that’s not true.  _ I can leave here any time. There are people who want to talk to me. These people appreciate what I do. Even Zuko- He’s kinder than he usd to be. This is nothing like the ship.  _

When they make it home, Zuko collapses on his bed. 

“Would you like a pot of tea?” Iroh asks. Fei takes her own seat on the floor, watching the two. The uneasiness from earlier is gone. 

“We’ve been working in a tea shop all day! I’m sick of tea!” Zuko cries, throwing his hands in the air. 

_ “Poor baby.”  _ Fei pouts, only to get a cold glare.

“I’ve told you to stop that.” He snaps. 

“‘Sick of tea’? That’s like being sick of breathing!” Iroh’s rummaging through cupboards, getting out the things he needs for his tea. “Have you seen the spark rocks to heat up the water?” The two shake their heads. 

Iroh walks out. Once he’s gone, Zuko sits up. 

“You really should stop doing that. It’s not safe.” 

_ “You’re just jealous mine is easier to hide.”  _ He huffs, collapsing back on his bed. 

“I borrowed our neighbor’s!” Iroh announces, walking back through the door. “Such kind people.” 

oOo

“This is the best tea in the city!” A man announces, sipping from the cup Fei had just delivered. She tucks the wooden tray under her arm, clasping her hands in delight. 

“The secret ingredient is love!” Iroh calls. 

“I think you’re due for a raise.” Pao says when Fei’s joined Zuko and Iroh in the back of the shop. She doesn’t have time to figure out who he’s talking to, when the door slams open. 

“I’m tired of waiting!” Fei whirls to see Jet pointing an accusatory finger at Zuko. “These two men are firebenders!” Fei darts a glance at Zuko, panic setting in. When she’s looked back, Jet has unsheathed his strange swords. 

“I know they’re firebenders! I saw the old man heating his tea!” Jet continues, waiting for a rally of support from the customers. 

The man Fei had just served speaks up. “He works in a tea shop.” 

“He’s a firebender! I’m telling you!” Jet continues. 

“Drop your swords, boy. Nice and easy.” The customer stands with another man.

“You’ll have to defend yourself.” Jet’s no longer talking to the shop, not anymore. His eyes are fixed on Zuko. “Then everyone will know. Go ahead, show them what you can do.” Jet stalks forward. 

Zuko grabs a customer’s broadswords. “You want a show? I’ll give you a show!” He leaps over the counter, pulling a table in front of him with his foot. When he kicks it towards Jet, Jet slices it with his own weapons. Zuko jumps on top of the table, balancing on one foot as Jet slices the legs off. The Prince leaps in the air, slicing at Jet’s feet as he lands. The two’s swords clash for a moment, before Zuko pushes Jet backwards and out of the shop. 

As soon as they’re outside the shop, Fei pulls the doors closed hurriedly. The man who’s swords Zuko had taken looks confused, and the rest vaguely concerned. She watches out the window as the fight continues down the street. 

“Mushi, you and I had better alert the authorities.” Pao murmurs. “Ju, can you keep an eye on the shop?” Fei nods, opening the door for the men. The customers trail after, muttering apologies to her and pressing tips into her hand. When the shop is empty, she gives the coins an appraising look, then slips them into her pocket. 

With a twitch of her fingers, the shutters slam shut. She takes a deep breath, feeling the air inside of her merge with the outside. The shattered tea cups pick themselves up, spilled tea swirling into a drain. The chairs flip themselves over and the broken table shoves itself into a corner. 

She sags against the door with the effort of her bending, head slumping forward. Her eyes already ache with the effort of staying awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you all been watching WandaVision?  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated!! Drink some water and take your meds, i love you ☺️!!


	15. The Tales of Ba Sing Se

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei makes a friend

Fei doesn’t know what happened with Jet, all she knows is that he disappeared. Zuko seemed to be shaken up, though, but his uncle is unbothered. 

Nothing happens with him, though. No, the next crisis in Fei’s life is of a much more teenaged brand- nothing to do with the Fire Nation or the Avatar. 

“Uncle, we have a problem. One of the customers is onto us.” Zuko whispers, walking up to the two. Fei’s holding the ladder steady for Iroh while Iroh retrieves cups from the upper shelves. “Don’t look now, but there is a girl over there at the corner table. She knows we’re Fire Nation.” Fei’s head perks up immediately, looking for the girl, same as Iroh’s. Zuko pulls them back. “Didn’t I say don’t look!?” 

“You’re right, Zuko. I’ve seen that girl in here quite a lot. Seems to me she has quite a little crush on you.” Fei gives Iroh the same bewildered look as Zuko. 

“What?”  _ What?  _

Fei elbows him sharply, looking over her shoulder to where the girl has come to stand. 

“Thank you for the tea.” She smiles, handing Zuko payment for her drink. “What’s your name?” 

“My name’s Lee. My uncle, my- friend, and I, just moved here.”  _ What was he going to say instead of friends?  _ Fei busies herself with folding towels, pretending to ignore their conversation. 

“Hi Lee, my name’s Jin. Thank you and.. Well, I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime?” Her back is to them, so Fei can’t see Zuko’s face.  _ What’s he going to say?  _ Her face is hot. 

“He’d love to!” Iroh answers for him. 

“Great. I’ll meet you in front of the shop at sundown.” Fei balls her hands into fists around the pristine white towel she’s holding. 

When the sun sets that night, Fei fumbles with her apron. She can’t get it off of her fast enough, pulling up her dress in the attempt to get it off. 

“Where are you going?” Zuko asks from his seat. Iroh’s been doing his hair for the past several minute, laying it down into two neat sections. 

_ “A walk.”  _ She pauses at the door, then forces herself to smile at him.  _ “Good luck at your date.”  _

Jin stands outside, waiting for Zuko. Fei turns the other way, running away from her, wanting to forget about her and Zuko and  _ everyone.  _

__ Her hurried footsteps slow as she gets further from the apartment. Soon, she’s calmed her breathing and is able to look at the city around her. 

The buildings are taller here than they were in Ai’s town, and closer together than they were in Sela’s. 

Another set of footsteps comes from ahead of her. Fei stops, looking at the short girl who’s wandered into her path. 

“Who’re you?” She says. Fei stops, not anticipating a question from this girl.  _ Aren’t there enough people in this city?  _

__ Fei brings her hands up to sign her name. 

“Stop waving your hands around, just answer the question.” Fei frowns, making her movements more pronounced.  _ Even if you didn’t know sign language, these are fairly simple.  _

“Stop that-!” 

_ “Are you okay?”  _ Fei gives up, bending a message. 

“Yes, I’m fine, I just don’t know why you bother with that.” 

_ “I was signing.”  _

__ “Well, a lot of good that does me!” The girl shouts.

_ “What do you mean?”  _ __

__ “I  _ mean _ that I’m- I’m blind.”  _ Oh. _

_ “You could have said so.”  _

__ “Well, I don’t make it a habit of telling strangers.” 

_ “And I don’t make a habit of telling people- Are you okay?”  _

“Yeah. I’m fine.” 

“ _ Oh. Well, it’s getting late. How well do you know this place?”  _

“How well do you think? I can’t see.” Fei smiles. 

_ “Well, you seemed like you knew where you were going.”  _

__ “What do you need?” 

_ “I’m-”  _ Fei’s mind scrambles, looking for an excuse.  _ “I’m lost.”  _

“You could have said so.” 

_ “Right.”  _

__ “Come on. Where do you live?” The girl takes Fei’s hand, going back where she had come from.

_ “Uh.. Outer Ring?”  _

__ “You mean you don’t know? How long have you been here?” The girl screws up her face. 

_ “Not long.”  _ Fei stops bending as a man crosses their path.  _ “What’s your name?”  _

“I’m not supposed to say.” 

_ “The same way you weren’t supposed to say you’re blind? Besides, it’s not like we’ll ever see each other again.”  _ The girl scoffs.  _ “Well. I’ll never see you.”  _

“Fine. I’m Toph.” Fei smiles. 

_ “I’m Ju.”  _

“No you’re not.” Toph stops as a group of late-night tourists crosses their paths- unerringly.  _ Heard them, I guess. _

__ _ “What?”  _

“I can tell you’re lying.” 

_ “Oh. How?”  _

__ “Earthbending.” 

_ “You’re a bender?”  _

__ “Yeah. Only the best earthbender in the world.” 

_ “Earthbender?”  _

__ “We are in the Earth Kingdom.” 

_ “I know, I just- I’ve never met one. I don’t think.”  _

__ “You have now. Answer the question.” 

_ “What question?”  _

__ “Your name.” 

_ “Oh. It’s Fei.”  _ Fei halts as she sees a crowd ahead of them.  _ “Toph, I’m going to have to stop talking soon.”  _

__ “Oh.” They walk in silence. Fei isn’t quite sure how Toph knows where they’re going- maybe the earthbending. She honestly doesn’t know much about earthbending. Fire- and waterbending she can imagine, or has seen, but earthbending is so foriegn to her and her airbending that it might as well be another language. 

_ I guess it is, in a way.  _

__ The tea shop catches Fei off guard. She hadn’t expected Toph to actually take her anywhere she knew, and yet here they are. 

_ “This is me.”  _ The wind murmurs. 

“Oh. Really? I was just guessing.” 

_ “Good guesser. It’s nice to meet you, Toph.” _ Fei drops her hand, walking away and towards the apartment. 

“Airbenders.” Toph whispers to herself, turning to walk back to her shared apartment. 

oOo

“Ah, Fei. You’re back.” Iroh looks up from where he’s packing a picnic basket. She smiles, yawning. 

_ “Is Zuko?”  _ She signs. 

“Yes, he made it back just a few hours ago. I think he had a nice night.” Fei looks towards the closed door. “Perhaps you could ask him about it?”

_ “Maybe tomorrow.”  _

“Yes, yes. Take your time. A growing girl needs her rest.” She nods, curling up on her own bed and drifting off. 

Zuko creeps out of his room once she’s asleep. 

“She’s back?” 

“It would seem so.” 

“Did she talk about what she’s been doing?” 

“I’m afraid not. Perhaps you could ask her. Tomorrow.” 

“Maybe.” 

“Good night, Prince Zuko.” 

“Good night, Uncle.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh.... jealous fei...  
> toph was so fun to write omg  
> this is pretty dialogue-heavy, sorry about that.  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated! drink some water and take your meds, i love you


	16. Appa's Lost Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei gets in an argument

Fei wakes to the sunrise greeting her through her window. The sky is the same bright orange as the flowers that still stand tall and proud in the corner of the apartment. The space is quiet, broken only by Iroh’s snoring. 

Something about Toph had soothed Fei and her hurt feelings. Zuko and his girl from the tea shop seemed much more distant as she swings open the shutters fully. Part of her still cares, most of her still harbors the same feelings for him, but in a way she can file away and ignore.  _ There are larger issues. Larger issues like- Like where did Jet go, like will I ever be able to find that girl again, like is it even possible to meet with Aang anymore? _

__ That was, perhaps, the largest loss of moving into Ba Sing Se. All throughout her travels, Fei had been able to convince herself that the Avatar would be right around the next corner, that she’ll get the courage to talk to him next time she sees him.  _ Not unlike the way Zuko was convinced he’d catch Aang, I suppose.  _

__ And then, there was the question of Wang. 

She hadn’t seen him since their last fight, which replayed in her mind in quiet moments. The feeling of being out of control, of the companion she had known for 15 years leaving her side, was not something to be forgotten easily. 

_ Is that the way all other benders feel? The ones who get the chance to train with others, who know that they’re normal?  _ She thinks, deep down, she’d rather feel out of control every day if it meant the Air Nomads came back. 

“Good morning.” Zuko’s voice is rough with sleep as he sits beside her near the window. She smiles at him. “How was your night?” 

_ “It was alright. I met up with a blind earthbender who walked me home.”  _

“Right.” He laughs. 

_ “It’s true. What about you?”  _

__ “Well, compared to your night I guess it was pretty boring.” Zuko looks down at his palms. 

_ “Boring? Really? A date with a beautiful girl and all you can say is that it was boring?”  _

“I don’t really think I ‘m ready for that kind of relationship.” He looks up at her. She doesn’t notice, gaze fixed outside the window, waiting for what he’s going to say. “Not with Jin, anyway.” 

_ “Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense.”  _ The shutters close with a wave of her hand. 

“You really should stop doing that.” Zuko said as the two stood. 

_ “I can’t.”  _ He frowns.  _ “If I stop for too long it’s like it begs me to bend. Do you remember that day at the Air Temple? When you found out about me?”  _

__ “Of course.” It’s her turn to give him a frown, though it’s more quizzical than concerned. “It’s not every day you meet an airbender.” 

_ “Well, I wasn’t exactly planning for that. I had only gone a few days, and I-”  _

__ “You lost control.” Fei squints at Zuko. There’s  _ something _ in his voice that she can’t pinpoint. 

“You have to work on that.” She furrows her brow. 

_ “I know I have to work on it, but it’s not like I have anyone to teach me.”  _ Zuko picks up his apron from the ground, folding it over his arm. 

“Who’s fault is that?” 

_ “What did you just say?”  _

__ “You’re the one who decided to stay here. You should have gone with Aang, you needed to learn-” He sets the apron on the table.

_ “To learn bending? Don’t you think I’ve taught myself well enough?”  _ A hot temper rises in Fei, one that could only have been learned by a childhood in the Fire Nation. 

“You can’t afford to mess up!” That forces Fei to calm down. Not because what he’s said has soothed her, but because she knows it’s not him saying that. Just as her childhood in the Fire Nation had given her her anger, his had given him… this.

_ “You know you’re not… there, anymore, right?”  _ She asks. Fei had thought long and hard about their similarities in scars, and yet the effect his childhood might have on him never crossed her mind.  _ “You can make mistakes, Zuko.”  _

“No. I can’t. When I make mistakes, people get hurt.” 

_ “When has that ever happened?”  _

__ “The day you got hurt. I should have kept an eye on Azula. I shouldn’t have spoken in that war meeting, I should have tried to sign up to fight to save Lu Ten. There’s always consequences for what I do, Fei, and I can’t slip up.”  _ This isn’t about me or my airbending anymore. _

__ _ “None of those things were your fault! Things happen, Lu Ten was a tragedy, you were a child, and Azula-”  _ Fei bites down on her tongue. 

“Drop it.” He mutters. “I’m waking up Uncle.” 

She slips out the door before he returns. 

_ I do that a lot, don’t I? Escaping when he’s looking away. I just need time to think. _

__ Fei turns a different way this time.  _ Maybe if I get lost again, I can find another friend to walk me home. Or, maybe I’ll meet Toph again. Wouldn’t that be a coincidence.  _

__ _ Would it be a coincidence? Or has Yang Chen broken their word, they’re using me again.  _

__ _ I’m not going to waste my time on that. I have to trust them.  _

__ _ If I can’t trust the long-deceased spirit who pulled me through realms just to talk to me, then who  _ can _ I trust?  _

She’s alone. No one is talking to her, and it’s light outside. There’s no reason to bend, so she doesn’t notice the way the air is slipping away from her, out of her grasp. 

If you ask any airbender today what it’s like to fight a fellow airbender, they’ll tell you it's something similar to this. In fact, ask any sort of bender what it’s like and they know that it’s normal to fight for grasp over their element. Aang knew this, Wang knew it, Fei did not. Of the three living airbenders, she was the only who never had access to experience or texts on the fighting style of the Air Nomads. Her lightbending wasn’t bad- it’s easy to be good at a forgotten art- but nothing can fight against the very air in your lungs. Not without training. 

By the time Fei tripped over nothing, she had no access to her gift. 

Her mind was a confused mess when she hit the ground. The feelings for Zuko she thought were carefully tied off had spilled open at his desolate gaze. She wanted to hug him, hold him close and assure him it was alright,

Her normally nimble feet were caught on a raised edge of a brick. If anyone was looking, they would say the brick looked like it was floating above its compatriots. 

No one was looking. 

No one was looking, except for the man who extended a hand to help her up. 

“We meet again, Fei.” Wang murmured. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't rly have notes this week! comments and kudos keep me motivated, drink some water and take your meds i love you


	17. Lake Laogai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fei gets in a fight

Fei scrambles back, palms scraping against the pavement. Already, she reaches for something to attack with. Already, she knows nothing is there. 

_How did he learn?_ While at the same time- _You’re out of control, Fei._ Her mind races as light emanates from her. She tries to rein herself back in, prepare for the fight ahead of her, to no avail. 

“I’ve let you get away once, _songbird,_ I won’t let it happen again.” Wang raises his arms, wind whipping around them. _Songbird._ The word rips something from the depths of her memories. 

_Azula’s words, Azula’s name.. “Oh, look at you, little songbird. You got pretty. Is this what it feels like to be a mother? Oh, I know all about her airbending. I’d say a little birdie_ told _me, but that would just be cruel.”_

Her mouth forms the name, a poison that needs to be spat out. Fei can remember the last time she said it, that night in the courtyard, on her knees and begging for forgiveness.

_“Azula.”_ No noise comes from her, even her ragged breaths taking a stop for the name. 

“You’ve figured it out. I was sent here by the Princess.” Fei pushes herself back further, until she’s pushing herself into a space that doesn’t exist. “Now, stand up and fight me, so that I can take you to the Princess with honor.” 

Not even the threat of Azula can quiet Fei’s thoughts. _“You will fight for your honor,” Ozai roars. “Rise and fight, Prince Zuko!”_ She shudders. Amongst the smoke clouding her thoughts, blue and orange fire mixed, tormenting her and Zuko, a realization emerges. Less like the beast that had reminded her of Azula’s words, a soft whisper of determination. 

_I won’t let myself be taken._

She waits on the ground, panting. He gets closer, the smile on his face giving away his own easy victory. His hands reach out, ready to take his prize- and she kicks him. 

Her shoes are flat on the bottom, softened from three years of being on her feet. They don’t do much damage, nothing more than surprising him.

Iroh’s voice plays in her head. She’d watched him spar with Zuko hundreds of times, maybe thousands, she knew the commentary he’d give this. 

_He shouldn’t have tried to get his hands on you, he should have used his powers. That was a prideful move, it allowed you to get in a physical attack._

Fei clumsily staggers to her feet, raising her arms. 

“Are you really trying to fight me? This will be over in seconds. You’re hardly trained.” She can’t tell if she’s imagining the hint of panic in Wang’s voice. For her own sake, she pretends she isn’t. 

Fei finds a small pleasure in the fact that Wang attacked her during the day. _He’s underestimating you,_ Iroh’s voice whispers. She tosses her left arm out, an attempt to blind him with a bright glow. 

He sends a gust of wind towards her. Fei can feel herself being pushed back. _Is this what it feels like to fight me?_

_I guess I don’t fight people enough to tell._

Her hands fly up instinctively, covering her face against the gravel stirred up by the attack. She can feel it scraping at her arms and neck, an out-of-place wish hoping it doesn’t rip her dress. 

Fei quickly realizes that they were certainly attracting attention. As she kicks again, sending an arc of light to throw him off his balance, she remembers Pao’s grim words to Iroh. _“Mushi, you and I had better alert the authorities.”_ The authorities. Fei had never seen them, but she’d also never seen Jet come back after his fight with Zuko. 

_Your fighting style is flashy. This alley is lined with houses. You’ve gotten lucky in that no civilians have seen you, my girl, but this can’t last._

“Stop that!” Wang cries, attacking her again. _Perhaps I can draw back my attack. Someone’s sure to report this, if I can seem like a delicate girl being attacked by a stranger-_

_Can I really leave an airbender to whatever fate these “authorities” have for him?_

_I have to._

Sure enough, a group of men in dark green rounds the corner behind Wang. He doesn’t notice, bending over Fei’s body. 

“Giving up, I see? A good choice, I suppose. Boring if you ask me.” Fei’s teeth work at the inside of her cheek, a habit that she’d thought had been left behind with the ship but apparently was still around. 

She looks over his shoulder, just for a moment, gaze meeting one of the soldiers’. 

“Sir, I have to ask you to stop.” One of them calls. Wang stiffens, straightening and turning to the men. 

“Ah, Dai Li agents.” Fei pushes herself further back until her back is pressed against the wall of a nearby building. “I- promise it’s not what it looks like. My friend here just tripped.” 

“We have reports of flashing lights coming from this alley. You wouldn’t happen to know where that came from?” The- _Dai Li?-_ agent says. 

“No, I wouldn’t. Like I said, me and my friend were just-” Wang points his thumb at Fei over his shoulder. 

“Right. Men, round him up. Approach with caution- he’s a firebender.” Wang starts to back up too, trying to escape the men. 

“Wait, wait, let’s talk about this. Firebender? I wouldn’t be allowed in the city.” His arms are grabbed roughly by the agents. “I’m- _wait_ \- I’m no firebender. I’m- I’m an airbender. _Tell them!”_ He begs. Fei’s reminded of that day on the ship, when June showed up to take him. Was that when Azula got her hands on him? Or was he working for her long before? 

“Take him to Lake Laogai.” The leader of the group calls, approaching Fei. 

“Take me to the Kyoshi Warriors stationed here. They’ll know what to do with me!” _Kyoshi Warriors? Are they working for Azula? And- Is this really how badly they treat firebenders? What is Lake Laogai?_

“Are you okay?” The leader asks her. Fei doesn’t have to feign panic when she nods. “Say something, so I can report to my boss.” She points a shaking hand to her neck. “Oh.” He clears his throat. “Well then, I’ll be off. Don’t hesitate to report anything strange.” He chases down his group in a half-jog. Fei puts her head between her knees, catching her breath and tamping down the fear inside her. _You’re fine. You’re fine, Iroh’s fine, Zuko’s going to be fine, everything is fine. Get back to the apartment._

oOo

Across the city, in the depth of the palace, the Fire Princess sneers at the sniveling man at her feet. 

“She’s here, is she?” Azula asks. “Well, I guess you’re not totally useless.” 

“Yes, Your Majesty. Thank you, Your Majesty.” He sniffs. 

“Stand up.” She snaps. “You’re of no use to me here. Travel’s been arranged to take you back to the Fire Nation. Be sure you don’t reveal yourself to anyone. I can’t have my father questioning me on my methods.” 

“Your- Your methods?” 

“Yes. My _methods,_ all of which are above your feeble mind. Off you go! And be grateful I didn’t leave you to the Dai Li. Who knows what your mental state would be.” 

“Of course, Your Majesty. Thank you, Your Majesty.” Wang scampers off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you all doing this week?  
> Comments and kudos keep me motivated. Drink some water and take your meds!


	18. The Earth King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Zuko is ill.

Fei gets up once pedestrians finally start walking down the alley. A few give her strange looks as she stumbles to her feet, arms and shoulders and palms bleeding. 

She hadn’t actually strayed that far from their apartment. The small stone steps nearly catch her feet, the door feels far too heavy, and she can’t quite stand without swaying, but she’s made it. She’s home- or whatever strange version of home had been set up in this foreign city. 

Iroh and Zuko are not. She doesn’t know where they are. They weren’t meant to work today. 

Fei spots Zuko’s apron, still on the kitchen table.  _ Where  _ are  _ they? _

__ Just as the thought crosses her mind, the door opens. Zuko and Iroh stand in the doorway, Zuko looking about as steady on his feet as Fei felt. 

“You did the right thing. Letting the Avatar’s bison go free.” Iroh assures. He gives Fei her own worried look, something in his expression telling her that he’d be with her in a minute. 

Zuko steps forward, towards Fei. “I don’t feel right.” He says, close-lipped, like he might vomit. Before Fei has the chance to pull up a chair, Zuko falls into her. She opens her arms, bracing as much as possible. It’s not enough. The two fall, hitting the ground with a  _ thump _ . Her injured arms wail as Fei sucks in a harsh breath. 

“Zuko!” Iroh cries. He pulls the body out of Fei’s arms, picking up his nephew and setting him down on the ground. Fei leans against a table leg while she watches him, waiting for her pain to calm enough to help. 

“You’re hurt, my girl.” Iroh wets a cloth in a basin then extends it to her. Fei takes it, dabbing at her injuries the way her mother used to dab at her skinned knees. 

“What happened?” Iroh sits cross-legged on the ground between her and Zuko. 

Fei attempts to sign and winces.  _ “I got in a fight.”  _

They sit and watch Zuko breathe for a few long minutes. When the sting on her upper body fades, Fei walks to her bed. The red serving dresses she had carried all the way from the North Pole lay at the bottom, scattered with dirt from being used as a cushion for her plant. 

The ragged one, crusted with salt water and dirt from the North Pole, stays intact. The other is ripped from one side of the skirt to the other. 

Fei ties one end under her arm and near her neck, trying her best to wrap it cleanly down her arm. She’s never been good at this, never had a reason to train herself in it, which clearly shows. By the time she ties the last end around her palm, though, she thinks she’s done a good enough job. . 

She walks out to the kitchen, where Iroh is wetting another cloth in a bucket of water. Somehow, Zuko lost his shirt in the process. 

Fei matches the way Iroh is sitting, across Zuko’s body. Her fingers fiddle with the knot on her palm. 

“I see you’ve repurposed those old gowns.” Iroh’s eyes crinkle at her, but his concern for his nephew is evident. “I was wondering what you would do with them.” She gives him a quick smile. 

Zuko blinks awake between them. 

“You’re burning up.” Iroh’s voice is calming, steadying- the voice of a father. “You have an intense fever. This will help cool you down.” He smooths the cloth he’s holding over Zuko’s forehead. 

Zuko gives Fei a confused look, eyes bleary with fever. She gives him a longer smile than what his uncle received. 

“So thirsty.” His voice is dry as he tries to sit up. Iroh pushes him back down. Fei grabs the bucket, holding it in front of her and giving him a ladle of water. 

“Stay under the blanket and sweat this out.” Iroh says as Zuko drinks the water. Once he’s done, he tosses the ladle aside and grabs the bucket, drinking straight out of it. He slumps back to the ground, and Iroh pulls the blanket over him. 

oOo

Fei can’t keep still, her worry keeping her on her feet. She reorganizes their nearly-bare cupboards, cleans all the surfaces in their apartment, makes and remakes all the beds, all while Zuko lays on the floor. 

“Where were you?” Iroh asks as the sun begins to set. 

_ “I- ran into someone.”  _ She doesn’t look at him, can hear  _ something _ in his voice that she doesn’t want to identify. 

“Why did you run?” 

_ “Zuko and I had an argument. I’m sorry, I-”  _ Fei presses her palms on the counter, chewing her bottom lip.

__ “He was out looking for you.”

_ “He- what? You talked about Aang, though.”  _ She reaches for a tea pot, setting it over the stove and looking for the spark rocks. 

“What we’re looking for and what we find are not always the same.” Guilt whirls in her stomach. 

_ “Is it my fault, then?”  _ She’s almost afraid to ask. 

“Well… yes.” He stays quiet, letting her revel in that news. “I wouldn’t worry though. This is… concerning, but I think it will all turn out okay.”  _ Oh. That’s good, isn’t it? _

Fei pours two cups, bringing them back to the two men. Zuko’s awake, a fact that causes her to bite down harder on her inner cheek. Iroh takes the cups from her with a grateful expression. He sets one on the ground, giving the other carefully to his nephew. 

“You should know that this is not a natural sickness, but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying tea.” Fei gets the sense he’s talking to both of them. 

“What’s happening?”  _ Not natural? _

__ “Your critical decision. What you did beneath that lake. It was in such conflict with your image of yourself that you are now at war within your own mind and body.” Iroh carefully gives Zuko more tea. 

“What’s that mean?” Zuko asks, delving into hacking coughs. Fei starts forward, stopping when Iroh gives her a look. 

“You are going through a metamorphosis, my nephew. It will not be a pleasant experience, but when you come out of it, you will be the beautiful prince you were always meant to be.” Zuko’s asleep before Iroh finishes his words. 

Hours later, the sun comes back above the horizon. Iroh stretches, standing for the first time all day. 

“My old bones need a stretch. I’ll go for a walk, I think. Can you stay with him?” He says. She gives him a clipped smile, nodding. _ No, I can’t, thanks for asking.  _ He waves goodbye, stepping out of the door. 

She watches out the window as Iroh walks down the street. When he’s out of view, she frowns, looking at Zuko. 

Unlike Iroh, Fei doesn’t stay at his side. She stays up as she was before, doing small chores around the house. The plants are watered, dishes cleaned, Zuko’s blankets changed and set aside to wash.

For just a moment, she sits beside his form. He’s sweating- a good sign, she thinks- and his face is scrunched like he’s trying to figure something out. She watches him carefully, the way his chest rises and falls with quickening breaths. 

Zuko gasps awake. Fei starts backward, sucking in a breath. He doesn’t notice, scrubbing at his face with his hands. 

_ “You’re up.”  _ Relief floods her. 

“Fei.” His eyes meet hers. 

_ “I wasn’t sure, for a second, whether you’d wake up.”  _ Fei stands, hiding the shaking in her hands by standing and turning her back to him, looking out the window. 

“Are you- where’s Uncle?” Her fingers find the knot on her palm again. 

_ “He’s out for a walk.”  _ She pauses.  _ “He was worried about you.” We- “We both were.”  _ Fei takes a deep breath, steadying her nerves.  _ “Your shirt is on the table.”  _

__ “Thanks.” He must stand, his footsteps heavy on the ground. 

They’re silent for a moment. 

_ “How are you feeling?”  _ She asks, finally.

“Better.” He stops moving, standing still somewhere behind her. “Fei?” 

_ “Yes?”  _ She turns to face him, finding him closer than she expected. 

“I-” The words catch in his throat. 

_ “What is it? Is something wrong?”  _ She ties the knot she’d been fiddling with.

“I love you.”  _ Oh.  _

__ Her mouth forms words but nothing comes out except a small noise. 

“And- I get if you don’t, I just- I wanted you to know.” 

A ray of sunlight falls over his face. His eyes shine, the color reminding her of honey, of leaves in autumn, of the way she felt when he laughed. Most of all, though, they remind her of home. The only home she’s known for the past three years, the only constant in her life, was him.

Fei looks away from his face, taking his hands in hers. Her thumb rubs small circles into his knuckle as she considers how to respond. 

He begins to pull away. “You don’t feel the same way, do you? I-” She tightens her hold, not by much, but enough to get his attention. 

_ “Zuko.”  _ It’s barely audible. 

He stills. 

_ “I- I know how you feel, I lo- I have feelings for you, too.”  _ Fei still can’t meet his eyes. 

“Oh.” His reaction is the same as hers had been, then, “You do?”

_ “Yes!”  _ She smiles. He brings his hands up, resting them on her cheeks. 

“Really?” 

_ “Yes, really. Ever since the Siege of the North, when I thought you’d- I realized it on the boat ride back.” _ A strange look crosses his face, of pleasure and triumph, and maybe a little adoration if he’s telling the truth of how he felt about her. 

He draws her forward, 

and he kisses her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it finally happened folks  
> comments and kudos keep me motivated. drink some water and take your meds.


End file.
